


Parental Adventures

by Chanson_de_Sirene



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Multi, Parent-Child Relationship, Slow Build, child characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2018-07-27 10:35:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 31,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7614730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chanson_de_Sirene/pseuds/Chanson_de_Sirene





	1. Sick Days

“I’m home!”

Your voice rang out in the apartment as you kicked off your shoes, dropping your bag on the floor and tossing your keys into the bowl beside the door. As your echoes faded in the apartment, you became aware of the silence and frowned.

“Boys?”

No one answered, but you heard the telltale sound of a giggle and continued to make your way into the living room. A flash of silver caught your eye before you focused on the sudden fort that had taken existence in your living room. You stared at it for a minute, half hoping that the owner of the silver hair would pop out of his fort, but when he didn’t, you let out a sigh.

Looks like you were in need of desperate measures.

Walking into the kitchen, you grabbed the tin of cat treats and, after a peek at the fort once more, shook it vigorously.

A cry of “No!” came from inside, muffled and slightly panicked, as the three kittens and their mother burst out of the mass of couch and pillows. As the cats tangled themselves around your legs, the silver haired boy, cheeks flushed and nose rubbed raw, burst into the kitchen with a grin.

“Hello, Mama!”

Lev clung to your legs and allowed himself to be kissed before taking the cat treats and feeding them. Wiping your hands on a dish rag, you turned your attention to Kuroo as he came in, Kenma in his arms. You shared a kiss then motioned to the boy in his father’s arms.

“He has a fever.” Kuroo nudged Lev with his foot, toppling the five year old and spilling the treats in his hands. “This one does too, but not as bad.”

“Ah. Have they eaten?”

Kenma let out a whine at the mention of food and tried to bury himself further into Kuroo’s neck. In a muffled voice, he said, “Daddy doesn’t know how to make anything.”

That raised an eyebrow. You turned your attention to your husband, only to find him avoiding your gaze. It didn’t take long to get the tale, especially with Lev around. Proudly showing you the mess of mushy noodles in the trash, Lev informed you of how Kuroo had forgotten to season them, then forgotten them entirely until they were a mushy almost paste. He'd spent half an hour afterwards scraping the burnt noodles from the bottom of the pan so you wouldn’t ever know. He then made them both promise not to tell you. They’d eaten pudding cups after that.

Muttering something about being betrayed by his own flesh and blood, Kuroo bent down and proceeded to tickle Lev to death. His shrieks of laughter filled the kitchen with poke and wiggle of Kuroo's fingers. Lev had no idea how to protect himself. Did he cover his stomach? His armpits? You watched in amusement as Kuroo finished his attack and Lev resurrected from dead with the help of Kenma and the kittens. The boys were given medicine – much to their disgust because it was most certainly not cherry flavored – and Kuroo was sent out to buy food. The boys claimed it was only because they didn’t want another repeat of Kuroo’s disaster, but you knew they just wanted take out.

It had taken only one try of the bite size chicken bits at the restaurant a few blocks away for the boys to become obsessed. Any chance to have them was quickly taken advantage of. Besides, Kenma informed you matter-of-factly, throat scratchy and coughing on purpose, the chicken and soup there was good for his throat.

When Kuroo returned with the bags of soup and fried chicken, he’s partially soaked from the sudden rain and you know he was going to get sick too. You mentally prepare yourself for the morning when the three of them would wake you up with raspy and hoarse whines of “I’m sick” and “It hurts”. You weren’t sure which of them was worse, the boys or the man-child you unfortunately decided to marry.

“Can we eat in the fort, Mama?” You glance down at the two boys at your feet, both of them with kittens in hand. Lev, as if anticipating your no, sets the kitten down and presses his hand to Kenma’s forehead. “Look, Kenma’s really hot! Being in the fort will make him warm and he won’t get worse, Mama!”

Kenma nods furiously, cradling the kitten in his hands. How could you argue with that logic? With a sigh, you carry the food to the living room, only to find your husband already there, the coffee table perfectly situated in the modified fort for prime eating and watching TV pleasure. How’d you not seen that one coming?

A few bowls of vegetable soup, chicken and a thousand tissues to wipe snotty noses later, the boys had completely passed out. Lev had insisted on picking the movies and it was halfway through Finding Nemo that he couldn’t fight his sleepiness. Laid back against your chest, the constant stroking of your hand through his hair had slowly lulled him to sleep. Kenma had managed to hold on until the end of the movie, but like his brother, he’d slowly fallen asleep too.

“You can stop pretending, you know.” You poked your dear husband in the ribs, making him wince. “I know you’re awake.”  
He let out a loud snore, snuggling deeper into the blankets and pillows. Fighting back the urge to roll your eyes, you took a tissue, rolled it up and shoved the paper into his nostril. Kuroo’s eyes snapped open, sputtering as he yanked the tissue from his nose.

“(Name)-chan! That’s so mean.”

Visions of a certain chocolate haired setter filled your head as he whined at how mean you were. You smiled at the thought. “Help me clean up.”

“We’ll do it tomorrow.”

“No, we’ll do it now—”

“Be quiet and go to sleep!” Tiny hands were pressed to your mouths, your very own words spoken back to you. Golden eyes glared at both of you until he was sure you weren’t going to speak anymore. Once certain, Kenma settled back into his blanket and closed his eyes.

“See? We’ll do it tomorrow.”

Kuroo yelped as you pinched his side.


	2. Bath Time

Kenma liked bath time with Mama.

He enjoyed setting up the bathroom with his pajamas, his warm, fuzzy socks and liked picking which toys he’d bathe with this time around. Kenma liked helping Mama turn on the water, watching as the water climbed higher and higher until he was sure Mama was going to let it overflow and flood the whole bathroom, before she would turn it off. Sometimes if he was good, he’d watch her face for her nod and she’d let him turn off the tub himself. He left like such a big boy then and a fuzzy feeling would spread in his chest.

When the water was at the proper level, Mama would leave to grab small vials of essential oils and let him choose whichever he’d like to add to the water. Kenma almost always chose the lavender oil because it made him sleepy and he liked when Mama would rub his back once in the water.

There was something really relaxing about the way Mama would add a bit of shampoo to his hair and then carefully massage it through, making sure each strand was properly cleaned. He’d lean his head back against her chest while she worked on the rest of his body, soaking in the warmth of the bathroom and Mama’s soothing touches. When it was her turn, Kenma would hand her the various bottles to wash herself, amazed at how one person could use so many products. Once all the soap and shampoo had been washed off, Mama would set him in the tub before getting in herself.

She’d lean against the end of the tub and Kenma would settle himself in her arms, his head firmly pressed against her chest so he could hear the thumping of her heart and close his eyes. He liked the water screaming hot, just like Mama, and its heat, Mama’s humming and thump of her heart, would slowly, but surely, lull him to sleep.

Once they were done, Mama would dry him off, rub him up with lavender lotion and put him in his kitty cat pajamas before settling him in his bed. There was nothing more relaxing than Mama’s voice, quietly singing a lullaby until Kenma finally drifted off to dreamland.

Lev, of course, ruined all of this.

He’d rush into the bathroom, still clothed and turn on the shower before stripping. Not a minute later, Mama would dash into the bathroom, soaking herself as she turned off the shower and scold Lev for his impatience. Even before the tub was filled, he’d throw his toys into the water, letting them float on the surface as the water rose, no consideration for anyone else.

As Mama would wash them, Lev would fidget and wiggle as he sat on his stool. Sometimes if he was being particularly naughty, he’d squirt a dab of shampoo into his own hair and rub it in until he had a lathery mess. If he was lucky, there’d be no soap in his eyes, but Lev wasn’t lucky at all. Mama would have to leave Kenma half washed to attend to the crying boy, running his face under the shower head on its lowest setting until the soap was gone. Kenma had to breathe in deeply then, like he’d been taught, to keep in his frustration. 

Once finally in the bathtub, Lev would complain that it was too hot can you make it colder Mama???, splash the water while roughhousing with his toys and worse, talked all the time. Mama had said bath time is for relaxing. And yet, Lev never seemed to shut up. Kenma sometimes wanted to hit him. But big boys don’t hit, so he kept the urge to himself. He didn’t want to make Mama upset.

“Can Daddy take a bath with us?” He followed Mama into their room and waited until she was picking out their pajamas to ask his question. Kenma figured that if there was another person to keep Lev occupied, maybe bath time would be better?

Mama turned around, giving him a look. “You’d have to ask Daddy. You know how he hates bathes.”

He nodded, scurrying off to find his father and brother. Finding them in the living room in the midst of a tickle fight, he announced, “Mama says you have to take a bath with us!”

Daddy let go of Lev, letting the red faced boy breath and blinked. “Eh? Do I have to?”

“Yes!”

“What if I don’t wanna?”

Kenma scrunched up his nose. “You want to be dirty, Daddy?” Half turning away, his upper lip curled up and his eyes squeezed shut for a moment. “That’s yucky.”

Giving his father one last look, he spun on his heel and rushed out of the room. He’d made it to the bathroom just as Mama was about to turn off the water when Daddy burst in, a dangled Lev in his arms. 

“I’m not yucky!”

Mama’s eyebrows rose at the statement. “You kinda are.”

“(Name)!”

“You never bathe like a normal person.”

Dropping his brother, Daddy pulled at the hem of his shirt and tossed it aside. “I’m bathing right now!”

So maybe Kenma didn’t think this one through? Pressed against his mother’s chest, he watched as his parents stared each other down. Daddy had scrubbed Lev down as quickly as he could, determined to be the first one in the tub and win (not that Kenma had realized they were in a competition?), but Mama had beaten him first. Now both he and Lev were soaking in the water, waiting for something to happen. 

The splash of water to Daddy’s face was a surprise. He’d never really considered Mama to be the one to start a splash fight, but when she threw another handful of water at Daddy’s face, Kenma knew he had to help. Lev let out a squeal, sinking down into the water to try and avoid the sudden spray. Daddy let out a shout too, but quickly cupped the water in his hands and threw it in their faces. 

Kenma wasn’t really sure how long they’d been at it, but when Daddy shouted that he’d had enough, he was relieved. Lev and Daddy had put up a valiant fight, but there were was no way he and Mama would have lost. 

“My arms are tired!” Daddy whined, nudging Mama’s thigh with his foot. “And you cheated! The cup was totally unfair!”

Mama gave him a smug grin. “All’s fair in love and war.”

“Well maybe I don’t love you!”

“Good!” 

The boys watched them as both parents pretended to glare at the other, each glare dissolving slowly into weird faces. Kenma and Lev found themselves snorting at their antics. 

Maybe bath time with Daddy and Lev weren’t so bad after all? 

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

“By the way.” (Name) flicked a bit of water at Kuroo’s face. “You’re totally cleaning this up.”

“Eh?”

“You totally started it.” She stuck out her tongue at him as she stood and got out of the tub. Wrapping a towel around herself and Kenma, she quickly rushed out of the bathroom, laugh ringing out in the apartment. 

Lev pressed his hands to his mouth in a desperate attempt to smother his giggles. Kuroo's eyes narrowed at the sight and he gave his son a humorless smile.

“I don’t know why you’re laughing, Lev.” He poked the silver haired boy in the sides, making him wiggle in the tub. “You’re gonna help me clean up!”

“No!”


	3. New Additions 1

(Name) was going to kill him.

Lev and Kenma were going to kill him.

He’d spent so long practicing for their next game that he lost track of time and forgotten to pick up the boys. Tired as he was, Kuroo had run across campus to the daycare in ten minutes flat. A new record, he noted. It definitely deserved a mental high five. Now, sucking in a deep breath and pushing himself upright, he pulled open to the daycare and walked in.

He’d expected the boys to be angry at how late he was. He’d expected to be scolded by the daycare staff. But instead he found both boys entertained at the table, scribbling away at the coloring sheets.

All that panic for nothing.

Kuroo let out a sigh as he leaned against the counter. Greeting the daycare owner, he waited as she went to fetch Lev and Kenma from their table. Two boys sat with them, one orange haired and overexcited and the other a scowling, dark haired boy. If he was honest, Kuroo would say he was surprised at how easily Kenma allowed himself to be hugged. Even as a baby, he’d never really liked being touched, sometimes even by his parents. But he allowed the orange haired boy to hug him without much complaint before they waved goodbye.

Now, zipping up Lev’s coat, he couldn’t help but ask about their new friends.

“That’s Tobio and Shouyou! They let us have their pudding cups for lunch!” Lev spun on his heel, walking backwards as he waved his lunchbox in front of him. Kuroo guided him off to the side to avoid running into a woman walking past. “We let them have the cupcakes Mama made us.”

“Sounds like fun.” Kuroo pulled the hat on Kenma’s head lower. The wind was starting to pick up and it was probably best to get home before it got too bad. “What else did you do today?”

Their chatter was tuned out as they walked home, more pressing thoughts on his mind.

\--/--

This time when he came to pick Kenma and Lev up, he was on time. The owner had given him a toothy grin as he came in, suave and smug because for once, he wasn’t in a rush nor one of or the last parent to come and pick up their kids. He found both boys at the same table again, this time playing with toy cars. A few other parents were busy readying their children for the trip home, but, looking around, no one seemed to be there for the two boys.

Kuroo frowned at the thought. Of course they had to have parents. No one would just drop off their kid and never come back. Sure, he’d had the thought doing that before when Kenma or Lev were in the middle of a meltdown, but he wouldn’t really. They were his kids.

“Aren’t their parents going to pick them?”

Kenma’s eyebrows scrunched together as he turned to look at Shouyou speaking with the owner. Lev wiggled as Kuroo struggled with the zipper, much to the amusement of the other parents. Outside shoes were put on, coats bundled up and hats placed on heads. And still Kuroo struggled with the zipper. The owner greeted a new parent, leading their child over to them, then returned to cleaning up. Most of the children had already been picked up and she would be closing up soon.

Kuroo was pretty familiar with her routine, after all.

Finally successful – he couldn’t help the yes that escaped his lips when it finally zipped – Kuroo reached out for both boys’ hands.

“Tobio and Shouyou don’t have parents.” Kenma let out a soft sigh. 

“Eh? What do you mean?” Kuroo ushered them out the door, one last look back at the two boys sitting at the table as the owner locked the playroom door.

“It’s like Kenma said, Daddy. Tobio and Shouyou don’t have parents.”

The sad, but what-can-you-do look on Lev’s face made Kuroo’s chest ache. It made sense now why the two boys were always the last ones at the daycare; the owner must be their foster parent. A thousand scenarios came to mind at Kenma and Lev’s words. They don’t have parents could mean anything. They could both be orphans, abandoned or just weren’t wanted.

How could a kid not be wanted? And how lonely were those boys? To watch the other children go home every day, with parents who cared about them, who smiled no matter how tired they were after work or school as they came for them. It ate him up all the way home.

\--/--

“Why don’t you ask your friends if they want to spend the night?”

You swore Lev's eyes grew stars in them at your suggestion. His friends? Spend the night?? The words Best Mother in the Whole Word all but flashed across his face. "Can they?"

You nodded. "If their guardian lets them, yes."

Lev let out a shriek and rushed off to find his brother. You could hear him from their bedroom already making plans for when Tobio and Shouyou would come over, despite no confirmation as to whether or not they could. You could also imagine Kenma’s grimace at the excited hand waving and shouting coming from his brother. Maybe giving him the suggestion was a mistake?

“Do you think she’ll even let them?”

You stood and smoothed your hands over your thighs. Kuroo leaned back against the couch, eyebrows still raised at his question. The glasses — nerd glasses you liked to them — he wore had slipped down his nose and his texts books fought for space on the coffee table.

“I don’t know. Probably though. She’s gotta want a break at some point.”

Kuroo let out a long groan. “I want a break at some point.”

“And who told you to study nerd science, you giant nerd?” You couldn’t help the lopsided smirk as you draped yourself behind him on the couch.

“Stop calling me that!" Kuroo snapped. Tipping his chin up to look at you better, he said, "I’m a bad boy, a hunk. A freaking Sex God.”

You gave him a deadpan expression. “Should I go and get the card you gave me for Valentine’s day? That one that says ‘You are Beryllium, Gold and Titanium’?”

“I—”

“Or when you asked me out with ‘Are you a carbon sample because I want to date you’?”

“That’s—”

“Or when you got me a shirt that said, ‘I’m copper and tellurium’?”

“(Naaame)!”

“Neeerd!”

\--/--

 

They’d been expecting some resistance when it came to the owner letting them take the boys for a night. They were foster kids after all and (Name) had been worried about potential bureaucracy keeping Tobio and Shouyou from being unable to be away from their foster parent. 

But, as it turned out, it wasn’t that hard at all. After hearing Lev’s polite demand request, she all but packed the boys off for the weekend away. A three day weekend. How could the two of you forget about that?

Lev spent the whole walk home telling everyone who looked their way that his friends were spending the weekend at their house. Kenma spent the whole time cringing at the sound of his brother’s loud voice. Tobio kept sending you and Kuroo glances, as if he was unsure if you were really going to let them come to your home for three days and Shouyou alternated between being as extroverted as Lev and shyness at what was really virtual strangers. 

And thus, you found yourself with an apartment full of small children and a man child. 

Shoes were quickly put away and backpacks hung on the hooks by the door. Coats were discarded the moment the backpacks were hung, big lumps of puff on the clean floor and said man child was immediately forcibly dragged to the TV and compelled to put on video games. Once the TV was on and the videos games started, said man child was forced to provide them with snacks whenever they needed them and was even given the casual suggestion that they needed pizza for dinner and not whatever was on the menu.

Because they had guests over and who knew if Tobio or Shouyou had even eaten pizza before? Plus, it’d been such a long time since you’d eaten any pizza, Daddy. All of these suggestions were proceeded with pitiful expressions and a please, Daddy?

 

Man child seemed very open to such ideas, giving you the same exact expression when he came over to ask if pizza could be their dinner, and you found yourself debating whether or not to lecture him on healthy eating, children’s health and the fact that he had a volleyball game in five days, but decided to let out a deflating exhale.

Why not? At least you didn’t have to cook. 

When the pizzas arrived, you watched as Kuroo pulled slices out of the box and put them on paper plates for the boys to eat. While Kenma and Tobio played against each other, he, Lev and Shouyou leaned back against the couch, supported by a mountain of pillows and stacked two pizzas together to eat.

A deep, soul-leaving-your-body sigh left you as both of them wiped greasy fingers on their shirts, now fully kicked back and talking with their mouths full. You had hoped that when Kenma had been born that maybe this one would be more like you, but he too pulled two slices of pizza from the box, stacked them on top of each other and bit into them. Greasy fingers were wiped on Daddy’s shirt before his attention was turn to Shouyou’s turn at the games.

No need for a paternity test for either child then.

And Kuroo was definitely doing the laundry tomorrow.


	4. New Additions 2

After the pizza had been eaten, the boys had rushed into their bedroom to set up their room. It had been decided that they’d all sleep on the floor — which was entirely Kuroo’s fault for giving them ideas — and their sleeping spot was decided on beforehand. Pajamas were removed from their bags and drawers, the bath filled with warm water and the boys herded out again.

Baths were given in pairs, Kenma with Tobio so they could actually relax in the tub and Lev with Shouyou so they could flood the bathroom, and soon they were back in the boys’ bedroom.

It was only then that the sudden realization that Tobio and Shouyou weren’t home seemed to hit them all at once. Without the distraction of Lev and Kenma, the myriad of video games they played and the winding down to bedtime, everything seemed so clear that this wasn’t home. It wasn’t their foster mother helping Shouyou into his pajamas and it wasn’t their foster mother who was tucking him into the futon laid out on the floor. He’d been having fun setting it all up, fully distracted by Lev and Kenma and the huge bed that took up almost all the floor space. But now that it was time to sleep, Shouyou was fully aware of how not his house everything was.

The bedtime routine was too different from theirs at home and all the catering to their needs was too overwhelming. Could they have the heater to keep the room toasty? Kuroo dutifully dragged it in and set it up. Did they really need more pillows? No, but they were given anyways. Would it be ok if they left the light on in case it got scary at night? The lamp was turned on and a red scarf put over it to keep it from being too bright.

It was all too much.

Looking up to meet your eyes, Shouyou finally burst into tears. 

Coming back into the room, Tobio was hit with the sight of his brother sobbing loudly. He’d been taken into the kitchen for a glass of warm milk before sleeping, even though he’d just brushed his teeth and now Shouyou was crying. You and Kuroo could see the thoughts going through his mind as Tobio scrambled over to Shouyou and hugged him.

Did he do something bad? Were you finally tired of having them over and was going to send them back to their foster mother? Had you hit him? They’d been naughty today and had been put into time out for a while, but they’d been good mostly. Right? 

Maybe all of this was too good to be true. After all, no one was that nice. They always wanted something, or there was bad news to give them. No one was just nice because they were nice. They were definitely going to get sent away again.

And so Tobio too burst into tears.

Seeing their friends suddenly crying set off a chain reaction neither you nor Kuroo were expecting. You had no idea your children were sympathetic criers, but once all four boys were sobbing hysterically, you and Kuroo found yourselves at a loss as to what to do.

A whole night of tears, hours of comforting and a morning of apologizing to neighbors for all the crying later, everyone seemed to have finally adjusted to being in unfamiliar places. 

\--/--

The daycare owner seemed to like having both you and Kuroo take the boys whenever you wanted. It gave her the breaks she always wanted and the boys got the bonding they needed, she claimed. She’d even drop hints to Lev or Kenma who would in turn demand you ask if they could come over again. Sometimes the stays would last only a weekend. Sometimes they'd be the weekend and Monday. Slowly though, they became whole weeks were the boys would stay until they lived more with you and Kuroo than the daycare owner. 

Not that Kenma or Lev were complaining. It gave them an excuse to do anything that was meant to be a treat, like going to the zoo or eating chocolate pancakes for breakfast when Tobio and Shouyou came over, plus having time with their friends. And the best part was that Kuroo finally got his mini volleyball team.

He’d spend hours out in the little park a bit a ways from your apartment building training all four boys to play. They were terrible at it from what you could tell, but Kuroo was entertained and the boys were getting the fresh air and exercise they needed so you couldn’t complain. 

\--/--

“I asked Kuya-san why no one’s adopted Shouyou or Tobio yet today.”

You glanced his way as Kuroo pulled his shirt off and tossed it into the bathroom hamper. The boys had gone to bed hours ago and an overdue paper had kept both of you awake until now.

“Oh? What’d she say?”

Kuroo waited until you’d crawled into bed and settled next to him in bed before letting out a sigh. You could tell it’d been eating him up for a while from the way he’d been acting, but you’d been reluctant to ask. You knew he liked to think things through before he spoke about whatever was bothering him and knew he’d eventually tell you when he was ready. 

“She said that no one wants to keep them because Shouyou is too hyperactive and parents can’t seem to handle that or that Tobio is too introverted with attachment issues.” Kuroo let out another sigh, pulling you closer to him and pressing his nose to the nape of your neck. “Either that or no one wants to adopt two older kids at the same time.”

You could see where he was going with that train of thought. Kuroo had had a lonely childhood himself when he was younger and hadn’t really belonged to any particular group until he joined the volleyball team his first year of middle school. There were kids he had played with of course, but no one he could really call friends until he joined the team. He’d met Bokuto then and the two had been the best of friends ever since, and their group later expanded to include Oikawa and Iwaizumi.

You could only imagine he was thinking the same thing was going to happen to Tobio and Shouyou. He’d been lonely until he got his friends, but then he had his parents to keep him from getting too sad and they had no one.

“Kuya-san thinks their social worker is getting sick of them too. Every time they find a family willing to take an older kid, something always goes wrong and they’re sent back. Kuya-san is the fifth foster parent for them in the last two years.”

Turning around so you were now facing Kuroo, you asked him, “What are you trying to say?”

Kuroo inhaled slowly, not quite meeting your eyes. “I know we’re busy and I’m not really around much because of all my games and all that. I try to help out as much as I can and all that, but it’s true. I’m not here when I’d like to be to help you with the boys or whatever.” He paused, stuttering towards the end and sucked in a deep breath before continuing. “But I kind of want to adopt them ourselves.”

You couldn’t help it. You burst out laughing. Pressing a hand to your mouth, you tried to keep the snorts of laughing from escaping, but it was no use. Kuroo pulled back, clearly offended. 

“If you don’t want to, you can just say so. There’s no need to laugh at me!” He started to throw back the covers and leave your bed, when you caught his arm. You really couldn’t stop laughing, but managed to contain it enough to spurts of giggles. 

“No, no, wait!” You pushed yourself up onto your knees and faced him. Finally composing yourself you looked at your husband. “I’ve been thinking the same thing. For a while now too. I was just scared you were going to reject me. The two we have were an accident in the first place and now we’re going to add two more? That’s crazy.”

The tips of Kuroo’s ears turned red. Sinking back to the bed, he let out a soft Oh. You waited until he seemed to have processed your words enough to lay back down and did the same. 

“So we’re really going to adopt two more kids?”

“I guess so.” 

You let out a soft giggle. “You’re going to end up regretting this, you know?” 

\--/--

As it turns out, the constant pawing off of Tobio and Shouyou was on purpose. Kuya-san, the daycare owner had known from the start that you and Kuroo would be the perfect couple to finally take the boys out of the system and into their family. She smiled at them while she chattered on, explaining how she’d been in talks with a social worker, had even filed the correct paperwork and vouched on their behalf. There would have to be a home study and maybe a interview before they’d have to go to court, but other than that, Shouyou and Tobio were all but guaranteed theirs. 

Well then. 

The home study went swimmingly (Lev may or may not have tried to slip the woman a few coins and Kenma may or may not have tried to give her his 3ds for a good review), the interviewer seemed to like them very much, especially after hearing that they were willing to take two problem children and the court date was scheduled. 

And in the end, after a bit of complication, Tobio and Shouyou were yours to take home. 

You couldn’t tell who was more excited. The man child you called your husband, Kenma and Lev or Tobio and Shouyou. They all chattered in the car, with plans on what they were going to do, how the boys’ room was going to be redone, things they’d need to buy and more, but you tuned them out. This was the first time you’d seen either boy truly happy. Even when they’d spend weeks at your home, you would always be aware Tobio and Shouyou’s understanding of how quickly things could come to an end. Now, things were permanent. 

And maybe that was made all of this worth it in the end.


	5. Shoe Ties

Shouyou bent down, tongue firmly stuck between his teeth, and tried to twist the ties on his shoes in the correct order. First, one tie under the other and pull tight. Make a loop with one tie, then the other and again one under the other. Now pull tight. If it was done correctly, he’d have tied shoes.

Shouyou stood up, sure that this time he’d gotten it right. Only to find he’d just made a giant knot in his shoes. Ah, so much for that. It seemed like he was the only one who just couldn't figure out the mechanics of shoe tying. It had even become a point of contention between him and his brothers. Tobio wouldn't stop teasing him about it and constantly called him a baby. But, according to Mama, they were all babies, so wasn't that an insult for him as well? 

Pushing the thoughts out of his mind, Shouyou shuffled his way through the apartment in search of a parent. They were meant to be going for a walk soon and maybe (a huge emphasis on maybe!) shopping for food and snacks at the store, but Shouyou had wanted to practice his shoe tying skills before then. 

A quick search of both bedrooms revealed a sleepy Kenma rifling through their books, Lev entranced with their kittens in the hallway and Tobio playing a game on the tablet. A peek in his direction revealed what Shouyou had already thought as Tobio tried to keep the volleyballs in the air in the game. He'd finally racked up a high score from what Shouyou could see and Shouyou thought about trying to beat him, but that was irrelevant at the moment. None of them were the parents he was searching for. 

No one was in the bathroom, the kitchen was empty and the living room unoccupied. 

For a moment, Shouyou worried if Mama and Daddy had abandoned them. Tobio did tell him he was annoying sometimes and Lev liked to tease that he was the reason they were going to dropped off somewhere like Daddy had said one time. But then he heard the sound of Mama's voice on the balcony and let the relief wash over him. So they hadn't abandoned them! 

Making his way to the open sliding glass door, Shouyou made it just in time to see Daddy whip Mama with a towel just as she turned. The already irritated expression on her face morphed into one of pure anger, but Daddy didn't seem to mind. 

"I swear to God, Tetsu, I will throw you over this balcony."

Daddy gave her a smirk and twisted the towel in his hands. "No, you wouldn't."

Mama reached down to pull another shirt from the basket and hung it up on the clothes line. "Oh yeah? What makes you so sure of that?" 

"We've got a witness to your premeditated murder."

Both parents turned to Shouyou as he leaned against the doorframe. He had the distinct feeling that he was being evaluated as they both looked at him and he couldn't tell if it was a good thing or not. But then Mama bent down and scooped him up into her arms before giving her own smirk at Daddy. 

"It's funny how you think they’re on your side." Mama pressed a kiss to Shouyou's cheek and smiled that smile that made Shouyou's insides do flips at him. He really liked those smiles. "You'd totally provide me with an alibi if Mama did something bad to Daddy wouldn't you, Shouyou?"

Ahh, he was meant to say something nice about both parents, wasn't he? Like, he didn't want Mama to do bad things to Daddy, but...neither did he want to be on Mama's bad side. She gave him hugs and kisses when she was nice and he liked that a lot. Especially when it made his insides feel so gwaah and hruuum. Nodding, Shouyou said, "Of course I would, Mama."

"Eh? Just like that? You'd throw me under the bus over a kiss?" Daddy pressed his hand over his heart and looked really offended. "You can forget about that toy you wanted because after this, I'm not getting it for you."

Daddy turned on his side and looked at Shouyou out of the corner of his eye as he hung up the pile of socks one by one. 

Oh no, he said the wrong thing after all. Now Daddy was mad at him and he'd never get his toy. Or worse. No one would ever teach him how to properly tie his shoes! He really was going to be the loff in stork like Lev said! 

"Wait, no! That's not what I meant!" Shouyou frantically searched Mama's face for some sign to make the situation right, but only saw the corners of her lips twitch. No help there then. "I wasn't going to throw you under the bus! I was just kidding!" 

"Oh? So you aren't going to save Mama when she does bad things to Daddy? Well, then."

Ah, this was getting worse by the second. Shouyou had now just offended both parents. At this rate, he was totally going to living on the streets. Wasn't it like Kenma had said? He was going to be wearing garbage bags as clothes and living under a bridge, just like in that book Kenma had shown him. 

“But I don’t want you to do bad things to Daddy!” His voice wobbled with unshed tears as he looked at both parents. “Why can’t you be nice?”

“Me? Be nice to her?” Daddy mock gagged.

“Yeah, he’s so annoying! Why would I want to be nice to Daddy?

“Excuse me? You’re the annoying one.”

“You can’t even hang up the laundry correctly.”

Making a show of bending down, taking the article of clothing from the basket between them and snapping the shirt in his hands, Daddy cleared his throat. “Please remind again who forgot to hang up the clothes properly, which caused them to fly away in the wind?”

“That was you, you idiot.” Mama started laughing and shook her head. “And you didn’t even realize until the neighbors brought back your unmentionables.”

Daddy’s face turned a bright red. Swallowing, he said, “I’ll have you know that cats in samur—”

"No one cares!" Mama turned her attention to him. "Tell him, Shou. Tell your nerd father that his stupid samurai cat boxers are stupid!"

Daddy's boxers? Eh? How could Mama not think they were amazing? They all had wanted a pair for themselves when Daddy had come home and showed them the packages. Clearly Mama had no taste. But he couldn't say that, could he? It'd make Mama mad and then he'd never get his shoes tied. 

Looking between both parents, Shouyou’s voice wobbled even worse, now with the added effect of a trembling lower lip. "I—…you—"

Shouyou burst into tears. He didn’t want to be shoeless forever. No one wanted to be friends with a grownup who wore Velcro strapped shoes. That was embarrassing. And Uncle Tooru had told him that no girls liked boys who were embarrassing. That was just asking to be forever alone.

“Why can’t you be nice!” Shouyou wailed. “I don’t want to be alone because you won’t be nice. Shoes are so important and you’re being mean!”

“Huh?”

“Who will teach me if you do bad stuff to Daddy? What if someone finds out? The police will take you away!” Shouyou’s sobs were getting hysterical. Deep, shuddering sobs escaped him and he buried his face in Mama’s shoulder. “I don’t want to wear garbage bags as clothes and live under a bridge!”

Daddy frowned. “Who said you were going to live under a bridge?”

“You and Mama did!” Shouyou wailed again, this time muffled as he buried his face a little deeper into Mama’s shoulder. "B-be n-n-nice! And teach me h-how to t-t-tie my shoes!"

Shouyou choked on muffled sobs, his whole body trembling. He could feel Mama rub his back suddenly and she murmured reassurances to him in his ear. He let her for a while, enjoying the feeling of her rocking him and the back rub, as well as Daddy's promises that of course, they'd be nice and that, no, he wouldn't be living under bridges in garbage bags. 

Finally, lifting his head, he looked at both parents. A few more shuddering sobs escaped him, followed by sniffles and deep inhales of breath. "Promise?"

"Of course we promise." Mama gave me a sweet smile. 

"And you'll teach me how to tie my shoes again?"

"Once we're done, Daddy will go and show you."

Shouyou looked at them again, this time more closely. They no longer looked as panicked and confused like before, but he needed more confirmation to make sure. "Will buy me some meat buns when we go to the store?"

"Whatever you want."

Shouyou nodded. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss onto Mama's cheek before reaching out and doing the same to Daddy. Wiggling his way out of Mama's arms, he made a point of pausing on the mantle and telling them to be nice, ok! before walking into the house. Now he'd definitely learn how to tie his shoes! 

 

 

Extended Ending

 

"Hey, (Name)?"

You turned towards your husband to find him looking at the empty doorway with an expression that was half confusion, half contemplation. 

"Yeah?"

"Why do I get the feeling that we've both been played for meat buns?"


	6. Paronomasia

"Would you rather eat 100 bricks or a matter baby?”

The peaceful silence in the room was broken by the sound of Kuroo’s voice. The boys turned away from their toys and looked at him, confusion all over their faces. Kuroo was currently lounging on the couch, manga in hand as he read, though now it was rested on his chest as he turned to face his children. 

His question had come out of nowhere. The boys had been quietly playing with their toys at the living room table when Kuroo had asked and now they were looking at each other in curiosity and confusion. Eat a 100 bricks or a what? What was that? Their eyes flitted back and forth amongst themselves as if to see if maybe one of them knew just what that was before Shouyou cleared his throat and risked potentially looking dumb. 

"What's a matter baby?"

Kuroo’s face broke out in an almost feral grin. "Nothing, sweetie. How are you?"

The confusion drained off of Kenma’s face. Closing his eyes, he exhaled until his lungs no longer had any air in them to exhale before he started to gather up his toys. Once they were all together, Kenma stood, patted his pants for imaginary dirt and turned on his heel. A brief silence filled the room until Kuroo heard the the door to the boys' bedroom open and closed three more times and Kuroo was left alone. 

Really, Kuroo couldn’t say he was surprised that his joke wasn’t a huge hit. Disappointed, yes. But not really surprised.

He opened his manga and went back to reading. 

 

\--------

 

If there was one thing that Kuroo hated about volleyball, it was the physicals. They were always stressful and irritating, with a doctor and a thousand assistants constantly poking and prodding him to make sure that, yes he was in good health and able to play. He’d be questioned over and over again over the same things that were really irrelevant in his opinion before forced to perform for the doctor to assess. 

The worst part of it all though was when they’d pull out their mile long needles, put a Velcro thing on his arm and ask him to keep still so that they could draw blood. Two vials worth was taken for them to call a week later and inform that he was still healthy as he was the last semester, or three months ago or even their last game. 

The only upside to this was how hard the boys would fawn over him when he’d return. Kuroo would shuffle through the door, toss his gym bag off to the side and kick off his shoes before collapsing onto the ground. The boys would flock to his side, asking questions and crying and gasping as they discovered bandages and sore muscles, all while looking at Kuroo like he was the bravest thing in the world. 

“Did it hurt?” Shouyou pointed to the bruise on his knee. He touched it lightly and flinching when Kuroo winced.

Taking a deep breath, Kuroo propped himself up against the coach and shook his head. “Not really, but they did say that I have snoo in my blood."

Tobio blinked. "What's snoo?"

Kenma’s head shot up at his brother’s question and immediately slapped a hand to Tobio’s mouth. "No, don't!

But, alas, he wasn’t fast enough.

Poking Tobio in the side, Kuroo exclaimed, "Not a darn, what's new with you!"

 

\--------

 

(Name) had allowed them to build another fort. The couch was currently cushion-less and all their blankets had been stripped from their beds and were instead draped over the couch, the chairs from the kitchen table and whatever assorted furniture they could drag into the living room.

It was rather amusing actually. Whatever chance they had to hole up somewhere slightly dark and warm, the boys took it. It helped that they were supplied with drinks and snacks, could cuddle the cats inside the fort and were only a shout away for a parent to put on the next movie or bring them more snacks.

Like now for instance. After many cries of “Mama!!” and “I’m going to starve to death, Mama”, (Name) bent down and lifted the flap that worked as their doorway to hand them more cookies. Little hands had barely taken the plate and promptly shoved the cookies on it into their mouths, when Kuroo suddenly threw open the flap and crouched beside (Name). 

“Oh man, (Name)! What’re you eating under there?”

“Huh?” (Name) lifted the now empty plate and looked at the floor in front of her. “What’re you talking about? Under where?” 

“You eat underwear, (Name)?” Kuroo’s nose scrunched and he scooted backwards a bit. “That’s pretty gross. Eww."

Kuroo was pretty sure his ears were going to bleed for eternity after Kenma screamed.

 

\--------

 

The door to their apartment swung inward and Kuroo shuffled in. Taking off his coat, he hung it on the hook and tossed his keys into the small bowl. One look at the kitchen and he saw (Name) and the boys there, quietly setting up the dinner table. He was always surprised at days like this when the boys were helpful and obedient. It made him wonder what (Name) had promised them. Or maybe he’s just a terrible parent, everyone said he was.

Lumbering into the kitchen, Kuroo peaked over (Name)’s shoulder to try and see whatever she was making. “What’re you cooking?”

“Curry.” (Name) barely glanced in his direction as she answered. She moved around the kitchen, opening a cabinet and adding some spices to their dinner before returning to stir the pot on the stove.

“Ah.”

Kuroo took another peek at the food, then turned to the table. The boys were already sitting in their seats, waiting patiently for their mother to plate their food. They all had the same forlorn look on their faces, Lev especially, as if the food they had been promised wasn’t coming after all. 

“You know, I ask because,” Kuroo, paused and sniffed the air, looking around in bemusement. Turning his attention to Lev, he said, "It kinda smells like updog."

“Eh? What's updog?

Kuroo’s grin could have probably split his face. "Nothing much, how about you?"

Kenma inhaled sharply. Wiggling his way out of the chair, he calmly made his way to the counter. Everyone watched him push the same chair to the counter, climb on top and take (Name)’s phone. A few presses of the screen with a very concentrated expression and Kenma put the phone to his ear.

There was a slight pause before the whispery voice of whoever was on the other side answered. 

“Uncle Hajime.” The voice answered and Kenma gave a slight nod as presumably Iwaizumi continued to speak on the other side. After a bit, Kenma turned slowly in Kuroo’s direction and grimaced. “Mm, hm. He did it again. So, please come and beat him up.”

Kuroo’s face blanched. “Kenma, no!”


	7. Ouium

      “Why is he here?”

      You glance over your shoulder just as Kuroo finishes kicking off his shoes and slides into his slippers. He drops his backpack on the floor near the counter before he leans over the back of the couch to look at the referred to _he_. You followed his gaze down to the chocolate haired setter curled up on the couch with his head on your lap.

      He looked no better than when he had appeared on your doorstep. His cheeks were still flushed and his nose half runny, half stuffed, complete with a hoarse voice from the scratchy throat. Each breath he took was an audible inhale and exhale of air and he shifted slightly, bringing his knees to his chest a little tighter while his clammy hands clenched tight under his chin.

      Continuing to stroke Oikawa’s hair, you said, “He’s sick. A fever apparently. I thought you guys were supposed to keep him from overworking himself?”

      Kuroo frowns at his friend, then lets out a sigh. “‘Supposed to’ is the key word here. You know how stubborn he is.”

      You let out a sigh of your own. Of course you did. When Tooru had something on his mind, there was no use convincing him otherwise. Even if it meant he worked himself to the bone like this.

      “What’s for dinner?”

      Behind you, you heard Kuroo ask as he shuffled into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. You reply that dinner is in the microwave and he closes it. There’s a moment of silence before the microwave hums loudly background as Kuroo waits for his meal to heat up. You hear him shuffle around a bit, opening cabinets and removing a cup, drawers crashing as he pulls out silverware and removing the plate from the microwave with a soft yelp and curse, before he shuffles back into the living room to sit just in front of you with the coffee table pulled nearly to his chest.

      “You’re supposed to be comforting _me_ , you know.” He grabs the cup filled with tea and brings it to his lips to sip before he sets it back on the table. “I _am_ your husband, you know.”

      “Oh, shush.” You fought back the urge to smack him and instead let your other hand run through his hair. It always surprised you how soft it was. Back in high school when you had first gotten a chance to touch it, you had expected his bedhead to be hard and slightly crunchy from the amount of gel he must have had in it to style it like that. But instead, it had been soft and pliant, naturally (or perhaps unnaturally? Who honestly had hair like that?) taking on that weird, messy shape. “I treat you the same when you’re sick too.”

      “Buh daf’s differon!” He leaned his head back and stared at you with the most pitiful expression he could manage. When he saw you weren’t going break, he let out a long whine. Another couple of spoonfuls of curry was shoveled into his mouth when a thought occurred to him. “Are the kids sleeping?”

      “Yep, passed out.” You motioned to the sleeping setter even though you knew Kuroo couldn’t really see it. “Tooru tired them out with too many movies and the constant rebuilding of their blanket fort.”

      “Speaking of, we’re going to need to get out the futon for him.” Kuroo leaned his head back again and looked at you. “I don’t know if I can carry him though.”

      You let out a giggle. “I thought you were super strong? How much can this pretty boy weigh?”

      “Do you even know what I had to do today?”

      “More of your nerd stuff?”

      “I told you. I’ll get a divorce if you keep disrespecting me like that!”

      You let out a snort that dissolved into another fit of giggles. “Like you would. Who the hell would want you?”

      Kuroo pushed the table away and stood. Interlocking his fingers together, he raised his arms over his head to stretch. The hem of his shirt rode up a bit, revealing those washboard abs you enjoyed so much while Kuroo let out a groan. As he finished his stretch, he bent down and took his plate and cup in before raising an eyebrow at you.

      “Please. Single, _attractive_ dad with four kids, desperately trying to feed and house them all while working as a chemist to get enough money for their care? God, that must be so hard to find someone who will have me!”

      Rolling your eyes, you shook your head. "Don't forget to add conceited to that list!"

      Kuroo stuck his tongue out at you. Shuffling to the closet, he removed the futon from the shelf it sat on. Carrying it to the right spot, Kuroo set it on the table and straightened it out. In no time, the futon had the proper covers and pillow set up on it with the indoor clothes hangers providing a bit of privacy. While the apartment was relatively large, it did have the negative feature of only two bedrooms. Currently one of those was occupied by two beds filled with four children and the other had their giant bed filling up about 85% of the space. 

      While the thought of sharing a bed with Oikawa and (Name) wasn't as weird as it may have seemed, the thought of having Oikawa wrapped firmly around either one of them in bed, especially when one needed to pee _badly_ was a thought Kuroo didn't want to entertain too much. 

      "You should probably text Iwaizumi or Bokuto that he's here. They probably already figured out, but just in case."

      Kuroo hummed and went to the counter to pick up his phone. He sent off a quick text to both of his friends before returning to the two on the couch. Pressing his hand to Oikawa's forehead, Kuroo grimaced. Oikawa was pretty hot to the touch. How long had he been like that? Kuroo knew he'd been feeling a little tired, but was that because of something else or had he been feverish or beginning to at the time, all along? Wasn't Iwaizumi supposed to be on that? Then he and Bokuto could harass their stupid friend into take a break before he got to this point. Apparently, injuring his knee from too much practice in high school had taught Oikawa nothing. 

      "Did you give him medicine before he fell asleep?"

      You nodded. "He didn't even want to take it. Lev taunted him about it and even took a spoonful himself to prove how much of a bigger man he was."

      "That kid gets worse every year. He's gonna get beaten up by the time he gets into school."

      You flicked your finger against Kuroo's forehead before carefully maneuvering your way off the couch. "He gets it from you, smart mouth."

      Kuroo started to give you a retort when Oikawa stirred on the couch. He let out a long groan, first rubbing at his eyes, then his throat when the inevitable burn made itself known. Kuroo wanted to tease the other boy about how terrible he looked, but decided against it. Instead, he forced Oikawa up and off the couch and into the kitchen. Before he could protest, Kuroo shoved the cough and fever medicine into his mouth and had a cup of tea in his hands.

      He even started cooking a can of chicken noodle soup, much to your amusement. Fatherhood really did wonders to the wild haired man. Leaving them to it, you went off to take a shower and prepare some pajamas for Oikawa to use.

      You returned to find a now pajama wearing Oikawa kneeling on the futon with Kuroo digging his knuckles into Oikawa's temples à la Iwaizumi. A hoarse whine was coming from his mouth broken only by cries of _“Tetsu-chan, it hurts!”_.

      “You’re lucky it’s me, shittykawa.” Kuroo nudged Oikawa over before tucking him in. “ _’Iwa-chan’_ would have probably beaten you black and blue by now. Should of known better than to overwork yourself for volleyball and exams.” Fixing the hangers so that the blankets placed on them created a curtained off space, Kuroo took one last look at Oikawa. “Go to sleep and get better before I call him over and let him do it.”

      You heard Oikawa mutter something you didn’t quite catch before Kuroo nodded to himself and turned around. You hadn’t meant to show how you were feeling at seeing Kuroo basically baby Oikawa. But the smile couldn’t stop itself from finding its way to your lips and neither could the smug expression. Not to mention how comical it was to see Kuroo instantly tense and his whole demeanor change. 

      Instead of the satisfied expression on his face, there was now one of annoyance. It certainly didn’t help that you were now openly grinning at him. God you were annoying. Kuroo rolled his eyes in irritation and he brushed past you to into the bedroom, ignoring you as you followed. He continued to say nothing as he stripped off his shirt and pants, all in an impressive five seconds, and rifled through the pajama drawer. 

      When he finally had stepped into his sweat pants you wrapped your arms around his waist and pressed yourself into his back. “You’re such a softie, Tetsu-chan. So caring for all your friends and children. Maybe I won’t divorce you after all.”

      Kuroo pried your hands off his waist and pushed you back onto the bed. The lights were turned off and he crawled into bed, he made sure his back was facing you as he molded his pillows around his head and neck.

      And despite how dark the room was and the fact that he was turned away from you, you knew his face was a deep red as he muttered, “Not if I divorce you first.”


	8. Dictionary Books

        “Uncle Tooru! Uncle Tooru!”

      Lev skidded to a stop in front of Oikawa, visibly huffing for breath but with a twinkle in his eye that being unable to catch a breath could diminish.

      “I learned something today!” Lev stated once he had managed to breathe properly. “Want to hear it?”

      _Not really,_ Oikawa thought, but the look on Lev’s face kept him from saying it out loud. Instead, he turned on his million watt smile and bent down to look at the silver haired boy.

      “Sure! What is it?”

      “Well…”

      Lev’s voice trailed off and a slight blush began to creep across his cheeks as he glanced away. Oikawa thought for a second the little boy was going to tell him something wildly inappropriate, perhaps even maybe leading to the topic of _sex_ that he did not want to have, not at this point in time, with him. But then Lev looked up and grinned.

      “Did you know that your picture is under the word ‘idiot’ as an example in the dictionary?”

      Eh? Did Oikawa hear that right?

      “What are you talking about?”

      "Look!"

      Lev held up the book in his hands and threw back the cover. He flipped frantically through the pages until he came to the page he was looking for and held the dictionary out to Oikawa.

> _idiot ˈ_
> 
> _ɪdɪət/_
> 
> _noun_
> 
> _informal_
> 
> _A stupid person._
> 
> _o    archaic_
> 
> _A person of low intelligence._
> 
> _An example of the word in use is: ‘Someone who takes multiple selfies every waking moment of his life is an idiot.’_

      Oikawa’s eyes flickered over the words, taking them in without really understanding before they slid down the rest of the page. There, like Lev had said, was his picture. It was one of the many selfies he’d taken, cropped to show only his winking face and the peace sign he held up. 

      Oikawa closed the book in his hands and looked at Lev. The silver haired boy in front of him was nearly completely red and his eyes were almost popping out of their sockets as his body trembled. It didn’t take much for Oikawa to see that the little boy wanted to laugh hysterically at his brilliant prank. Oikawa didn’t know what was worse: a five year old coming up with such a lame prank or the fact that he, an adult twenty years older, had fallen for it.

      Oikawa stood up to his full height. He looked in the direction Lev had come running and found, like he had thought, his stupid friends. The three of them tried to compose themselves as they made their way towards him, all casual and carefree until they stood in front of him. 

      “What’s—” Bokuto let out a snort, breathing through his nose. “What’s that— that in— your hands?”

      Kuroo cupped his mouth, squeezing his nose as he fidgeted in place. Iwaizumi was having trouble standing oh so casually in front of their friend as his body shook with held in laughter.

      “Is that the new dictionary?” Bokuto let out a guffaw, but quickly sucked it back in. “I heard— I heard they came out with a new one. And that—that—”

      The three of them burst out laughing. Even Lev joined them, his childish giggles sending the knife even deeper into Oikawa’s heart. This was friendship? This was nearly ten years of hardship and pain and difficult times? His face was devoid of emotion as they were nearly on the ground laughing. Bokuto even had tears streaming down his face.

      They thought they were so funny, didn’t they? Those stupid, ignorant, fuc—

      Oikawa felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

          **3 new messages**

          **(Classmate)** : I didn’t know you were in the dictionary? XD

          **(Random Girl)** : I always knew you’d be in books someday ;)

          **(Classmate 2)** : Damn you’re so famous now! 

      His phone continued to buzz with alerts from texts and soon notifications from Snapchat and other social media, all along the same lines that began to flood his phone. 

      So, almost ten years of friendship? Oikawa pivoted on his heel and walked away. 

      Who needed that anyways?

**Extended Ending**

**From: ScaredyCat  
      To: PrettyBoy**  
      Wtf dude? You told (Name)??  
      I literally had to hear a whole lecture about you (W_-') 

**From: OwlMan  
      To: PrettyBoy:**  
      Tooru! (((( ;°Д°))))  
      Why did you tell (Name)!! She just yelled at me!!   
      She even pinched me!   
      ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇ‸இﾟ)ﾟ｡   
      It really hurt, Tooru! 

**From: BruiseGiver:  
      To: PrettyBoy**  
      You're dead next time I see you   
      (Name) just pinched me in the thigh   
      You know much I hate when she pinches me  
      Start writing your obituary because you're a dead man walking   
      Fkn Shittywaka 


	9. Apple Pie

October 16th.

The day your little baby finally became a big boy. 

You’d planned on having a party to celebrate his birthday, inviting some of the children from the daycare to celebrate at the local restaurant, but Kenma had staunchly refused. There would be strange kids, strange adults and he’d be in a strange place, Kenma had whined. Couldn’t they just stay home? Not even having his brothers there had assuaged his fears. So instead the invitations were given only to their uncles and that was that.

Practice ran late (or rather, you was sure your husband and his band of merry idiots didn’t want to help with the cooking and baking) and you’d been left alone to bake the desserts.

To say it was an amazing experience cooking and baking with the children was a bold faced lie. It’d gone well enough as they’d washed the apples in the sink, each boy rambling on about whatever it was they were talking about. You simply nodded or added a few words in response, but really you were focusing more on that tasks at hand. 

But then the trouble came when it came time to cut the apples. It had to be done the right way and not the butchering Shouyou was giving the apple. Tobio had tried to wrench the knife out of his hands — much to your horror — which led to Shouyou screaming in protest. The tantrum that followed led to a time out in the corner and a sullen, glaring Tobio sat in his blue chair fuming.

Taking a deep breath, you cut the rest of the slices and placed in them a bowl of water before starting on the batter. An impromptu flour fight landed a second boy in the corner for a time out. Lev sobbed pitifully that he was sorry, that he couldn’t help himself with the flour just sitting there, but time out was only extended until he quieted. He really hated the green time out chair.

The dumping of the apples into the pie tin was meant to be done by the birthday boy himself; it being his pie after all. But you’d barely added the pastry to the tin when Shouyou had grabbed hold of the now drained apples and turned it over into the tin. He wasn’t expecting the hand that whipped out of nowhere to smack his cheek, but after the initial shock wore off, Shouyou gladly returned the favor, hitting Kenma with as much force as he could muster.

It wasn’t exactly the day you’d been expecting. All four boys sat in their chairs around the room, three of them sniffling and wiping away stray tears and you pouring yourself a glass of wine to cope. Where was your dumb husband when you needed him?

Forcing the boys to sit on their chairs until the pie was ready, you finally allowed them to get up when the timer rang out in the room. Now, pulling open the oven door, you reached inside, acutely aware of the four boys leaning in around you, a safe distance away from the oven to peek at their handiwork. The apple pie was removed, placed on the table and chairs pushed against the table to see the steaming dessert.

Your husband and his stupid friends chose that moment to walk in. The four of them dropped their gym bags on the floor by the door, kicked off their shoes and slipped into the slippers kept in the little shoe shelf and shuffled into the kitchen with words of praise for the magnificent pie on the table. 

You considered raging at them. You considered telling off your good for nothing, idiotic husband who had decided it was a great idea to one, knock you up in the first place and two, adopt two more children to add to the fun times spent screaming and yelling. But instead you grabbed the bottle of wine on the table and tipped the whole thing back into your mouth. 

There was no sense starting a fight on your child’s birthday. Kenma was turning four and he deserved a happy time. Plus, you could pinch and beat Kuroo later tonight when everyone went to sleep. Because god knows the three idiots were going to be spending the night and you weren’t going to get any sleep tonight. 

You made sure to take another drink from the bottle. 

“You might want to slow down on that, you know.”

If only looks could kill. You stuck your tongue out at Iwaizumi while shooing him away. “Go set up in the living room. You have no idea how excited the boys are to eat that pie.”

“From the way you’re drinking, I can imagine.” 

His smirk made you take another long sip just to spite him. Shooing him away and, you watched as the kitchen table was slowly filled with the boys’ beloved chicken and sweets. The boys crowded around the others, each buzzing with excitement. From the amount of presents on the living room table once the food was set up, you could tell the four idiots really went overboard again with the latest games among the packages. Kenma seemed to think the same from the way he kept looking at the growing stack, though the apple pie also had his attention. It was the most animated you had ever seen your little pudding head. 

As Kuroo and Oikawa returned to the counter for the drinks, he pressed a plastic container of cheesecake into your hands. The expression on his face was wildly suggestive, but the love note written on the plastic said “Please don’t kill me tonight.” Were you the only one who could see that his sexy look didn’t reach his eyes? You could see the fear of God in them so clearly, but did the others? Maybe you’d spare him. He did buy you the cheesecake you really liked. 

At least a little, though. Today was a long day after all. 

“Open this one, Kenma-chan!”

Oikawa shoved the thick, square package into the little boy’s hands. Kenma’s hands shook as he took it, searching the expectant faces of everyone crowded around him. Oikawa looked smug as hell as Kenma carefully peeled off the tape on the wrapping paper until it revealed the new (Game) game. 

“This doesn’t come out for another month!” Kenma’s whole body pivoted to Kuroo, taut and quivering. “Didn’t you say, Daddy? It comes out in November!” 

“I preordered it. Expensive as hell, but eh. I thought you were worth it.” Oikawa shrugged like it was nothing, but everyone could see he was quite pleased. 

Another package and another shriek. A new 3ds from Uncle Hajime, this time the limited edition New Galaxy Style. A mountain of new games he’d been demanding from Daddy and Uncle Bokuto. Those really cool light up shoes that had every child in their daycare so jealous when someone had come in with them from Mama and finally, those coin machine toys the boys had been desperate to win, but never could from his brothers.

It was the sum of a lot of things Kenma had been asking for all year long, but hadn’t really thought he’d be receiving. At least not any time soon. And once the vanilla ice cream was brought out, added to the top of his still warm slice of apple pie, Kenma burst into tears. 

Each bite was eaten between choking sobs and attempts to peel off the plastic off his new games. Occasionally, he would hold his plate out for more ice cream or even another piece of pie before returning to his sobbing and now playing. It was amazing how quickly small children could grasp the mechanics of a game. Iwaizumi couldn't get the hang of the game, but the boys were all experts in no time. Well, mostly. 

“We did good, huh?”

Kuroo gave you a half smirk as he washed the dishes while you ate your cheesecake in peace. Bokuto was cleaning up the mess of wrapping paper Kenma had made when it was clear just what the rest of his presents were while Iwaizumi and Oikawa played with the boys in the living room. 

“Of course we did! Did you see how happy he was?” Bokuto leaned against you, snaking his arm around your waist and pulling you to him. “You can’t be mad at us forever, (Name)-chan. We’re even cleaning up.”

“Don’t add “chan” to my name.” You hoped the tone in your voice clearly displayed your annoyance. Cleaning up didn't excuse the fighting and stress you had to go through just to get everything ready with no help. You took another bite. “And take your arm off of me.”

“(Name)…” 

“Don’t even sta—”

“(Naaame)…”

“Kou, I don— Tetsu— let go—!” 

You fought to escape the unexpected hug, not intent on being the ham in this sandwich when suddenly, the cheese decided to show up and add himself to the mix. The third pair of arms wrapped themselves just below your breasts and squeezed tightly. 

You let out a loud and dramatic sigh, the only way to hear yourself in this cartoon-esque ball of arms and legs this hug had turned into. Any minute now the boys would come in and they along with Iwaizumi would join the trio currently holding you in place. Then you’d really be trapped. You just had to…

“I—”

Little feet ran into the kitchen, skidding to a stop to see the sight before them before joining to grab at any available body part on your body.

…get away.

Nope, no way to escape the small children and man-children now. 

“—should really get a divorce.”


	10. Late Nights

The light of the laptop shining back at Kuroo in the dark was really straining his eyes. Really, the lack of sleep was what was straining his eyes and the bright laptop wasn’t helping, but the paper needed to be finished tonight because his professor had decided that this paper was worth 70% of the class’ grade. 

If Kuroo was honest with himself, he’d admit that, at this point, half of the paper was more word vomit and filler than anything else. He’d already tried the well-known trick of highlighting every period in the whole document and making them size 14. But that only gave him a measly six extra pages. Not near enough to the thirty he needed. That was, minimum. Ideally, he needed around maybe forty-five and better yet, fifty plus before turning it in. 

But that wasn’t going to happen. 

Taking off his glasses, Kuroo let out a groan and rubbed his eyes. Chem labs, volleyball games and training camps, piles of homework from other classes….how was he supposed to do all this? It was well and truly impossible. Might as well have a heart attack from all the stress and ascend to another plane while he still could.

Then, he wouldn’t have to deal with all of this.

Ugh, but dying could wait until later. Slapping himself awake, Kuroo forced himself to sit up and take a deep breath. He really had to finish this paper. 

His fingers had barely typed out two sentences when he heard the distinct sound of tiny feet sticking to the hardwood floor. The little boy, silver hair all mussed from tossing and turning in his bed and with crinkled pajamas, appeared suddenly at his side, rubbing his eyes and grimacing at the bright blue light coming from the laptop. 

“Don't you have a bedtime?” 

The sleepy and scratchy, almost whiny tone in Lev’s voice nearly had Kuroo melting, but he held himself in check. Lev let out another groan and rubbed at his eyes a little harder, prompting Kuroo to lower the brightness on the laptop. How had he not thought of that sooner?

“Nope. University.”

“Oh.” Lev pulled Kuroo’s hands off the laptop keyboard and settled himself in his father’s lap. Leaning his head back against Kuroo’s chest, Lev asked, “What about Mama? Doesn’t she have University?”

“Mama has better time management.” Tilting forward, Kuroo rested his chin on the top of Lev’s head. His fingers clicked across the keyboard, adding more words he wasn’t even sure made sense at this point, but at least it was something. He could feel Lev’s eyes following each keystroke and each slight turn of his head whenever Kuroo had to spellcheck something with the mouse. 

Sitting there against the couch with his son suddenly brought back memories of his first year of university and the horror that was parenting and school. Those long nights when Lev had had a fever and couldn’t be calmed, the crying fits from new teeth coming through, the piles of homework each professor expected to be done promptly and the straw that broke the camel’s back, the second baby to add to the stress. 

Kuroo had barely managed to make it through each assignment by pulling all-nighters and cuddling Lev in his arms just to get through it all and now he found himself coming full circle. 

Apparently nothing had changed since then. 

“Daddy?”

Kuroo’s fingers came to a standstill on the keyboard. “Yeah?”

“I’m thirsty.” Lev tilted his head up as Kuroo looked down. “But I don’t want you to stop working, so I can wait.”

A half smile, half smirk made its way onto Kuroo’s lips. How did this kid manage it? One minute he was dumping kitty litter on the floor and making an “ant trail” and Kuroo was seriously considering packing him up with his things and leaving him on someone’s doorstep and the next minute, Kuroo was ready to hug and kiss the kid to death. 

“Nah, it’s fine. I was just going to take a break anyway.”

Scooping up his son, Kuroo kissed Lev’s face as he made his way to the kitchen. Lev let out an immediate disgusted whine and frantically rubbed his cheek with Kuroo’s shirt. 

Chuckling, Kuroo asked, “Want a snack while we’re here?”

Lev looked to the cabinets and refrigerator before nodding. “I want a sandwich.”

Leaving Lev to sit on the counter, Kuroo opened the refrigerator and took out the necessary ingredients. The bread was smeared with a tad of mayo, the slices of deli meat placed just so (or else you’ll have just bread and no filling when you take a bite, Daddy!) and the crusts promptly cut off. Kuroo wasn’t sure why kids disliked the crusts so much, but he didn’t question it. No crusts and in a triangle shape and they were both chewing their food and sipping from juice boxes. 

“I thought I heard someone up.” 

Glancing in the direction of the voice, Kuroo mumbled a curse to himself as you stepped into the light of the refrigerator. He really meant to be the only awake at this hour and now he had a child with him and you out of bed. 

Kuroo watched as you let out a groan and rubbed the palms of your hands into your eyes, reminding him of a certain someone. “Shouldn’t you both be sleeping?”

“Daddy has bad time management, Mama, so he can’t sleep yet.” Lev bit into his sandwich and sipped from his juice. 

“Oi!”

You let out a laugh that slowly became another groan. “Well, he’s not wrong, is he?”

“Okay, but he doesn’t have to say it like that!”

You walked over the two of them and pressed your hand to Kuroo’s cheek. “Oh my sweet summer child. You really should go to bed.”

Kuroo let out a long sigh. He wanted to. A lot. Just the thought of his giant bed with its semi soft mattress, those silky sheets and thick blankets… He was nearly asleep just at the thought of it. But he couldn’t. The paper was incomplete and he really needed to finish before morning. 

“I can’t. I have to finish my English assignment.” Kuroo let out a few sobs as he leaned towards you and pressed his forehead to your shoulder. “And I’m a fall child. Not summer.”

“Okay, how about this? You take a nap on the couch with your own fall child and I finish your paper?”

“Your English sucks.”

You rolled your eyes. “Riiiight.” 

Making your way to the couch, you settled yourself on a cushion and began to read. Kuroo carried Lev into the living room and lay on the couch, carefully curling the silver haired boy into himself and the edge so that he could still see you type, but keep his son from falling off the couch. 

You were, of course, used to the back seat dictating and criticism as your fingers flew over the keyboard. Most of the couple pages were coherent, but after a certain point, most of them barely made sense. You could pinpoint the exact point Kuroo reached that point too. It was in the middle of the third paragraph on page 23 of the paper, much to your amusement. Eventually the dictating became slurred words until finally all you heard was the tapping of your fingers on the keyboard and the rhythmic breathing of both husband and child.

An hour and some minutes later, you rechecked the paper for any errors, deemed it good enough and send it off. Shutting off the laptop, you stood and stretched out the cramped muscles of your back. You heard the satisfying consecutive pops of each vertebra in your spine as you stretched just a bit harder until you finally felt like a wet noddle.

That gave you pause. You were really watching too much kids TV is such imagery was getting into your vocabulary. Yikes. Speaking of kids, you bent to wiggle Lev out of Kuroo’s arms before waking up the man himself. Not that either of them were actually awake. The wet noddle of a child in your arms mumbled something incoherent while you led your zombie husband back to bed. If you were asked, you couldn’t be sure who was worse at straining themselves. Both Kuroo and Oikawa were the worsts.

“Did you finish it?”

Kuroo’s sleepy voice echoed in the dim light of the bedroom. He was already half curled into the mattress, one pillow smashed against the back of his head, while Lev was curled into his side. Honestly, it was the cutest thing you’d seen a while.

“I did.” You slipped into bed and turned off the bedside lamp. “I even emailed it to your professor. And I even sent off an email to everyone saying you were going to skip tomorrow.”

Kuroo let out a groan. “I can’t. I have—”

“—to sleep before you ruin yourself.” You reached out and poked him in the cheek. “Like someone we both know, hmm? Remember that thing with the knee? How are you going to play against (Team) if we can’t focus on the game?”

Another groan, this time longer. “Fine, I’ll skip. But you’re getting the blame.”

Of course you were. No good deed goes unpunished or however that saying went.

“You know, I’m starting to think you married me just so you can get out of stuff by blaming it on me.”

You had finally settled against the pillow when you felt a hand pat your cheek lovingly. “At the very least, we know that you’re pretty, (Name).”

The hand receded back into the darkness and soon, snores replaced the silence left by Kuroo’s words. Only then did you realize what he was implying.

That little jerk.


	11. Stressed Out

        _“Oh, god (Name)!”_

      Iwaizumi’s eyebrow twitched.

      No.

      _“Ah! Harder!”_

      His pencil dug into the paper, nearly ripping through it. Iwaizumi clenched the pencil so hard, he was sure it would break in half. He couldn’t take this any longer. If he so much as —

      _“Hnnnngh gaaah.”_

      "Jesus Christ, Kou! Shut up!" 

      Iwaizumi threw his pencil across the table at Bokuto. The two of you turned to look at the dark haired boy and snickered. That familiar irate expression, usually reserved for Oikawa, was fixed upon his face with such an intensity you were sure that if he was a cartoon character, steam would be pouring out of his ears.

      Sure, the sound effects were a little over the top, but you'd never known someone as tense as Bokuto was at the moment. In the twenty or so minutes you had been kneading the muscles in his back, you were just now getting him to fully relax. The trapezius muscle between his shoulders was so tight, you had to really dig into it to get the muscle to finally stop clenching.  Worse yet were the muscles of his shoulders. Any longer without some kind relief and you were sure he wouldn’t be able to play in any of the upcoming games.

      Reaching for the bottle of massage oil, you poured more into your hands before returning to kneading into Bokuto’s upper back. The sharp groan he let out when you hit a deep knot was enough to keep you going despite how cramped your hands were starting to feel.

      Besides, if Bokuto was this bad, how must Iwaizumi be?

      "It's so good, Iwa-chan!"

      You looked to Iwaizumi and snorted. Could someone’s eyes roll that hard? Any harder and they would be like those casino slot machines. _Ding, ding, ding! You just won a punch to the face!_

      "Ahh, I swear, (Name's) hands are magic." 

      The irritated expression on Iwaizumi’s face was almost a snarl. “You’re going to be getting my hands too if you don’t shut the hell up.”

      “Oi, no violence in my house.”

      Iwaizumi made a face and promptly flipped you off. “Fuck off, (Name).”

      Both you and Bokuto gasped. Straightening yourself, you grabbed the hand towel and wiped off your hands. You stood up slowly, walking deliberately towards Iwaizumi who was still on your couch and now wore a confused expression before wrapping yourself against his back. With your cheek against his shoulders and your hands slipping under his shirt to roam those rock hard abs, you let out a whine. The two of you had been friends long enough for you to have learned what triggered Iwaizumi and sent him off into a rage. Oikawa’s whinging was usually the first step, but your unnecessary whines of his name were enough to have the same effect and then there was Bokuto’s guffawing laugh to really set it.

      You felt Iwaizumi stiffen in an instant. When he straightened (as much as he could with you wrapping your legs around his waist to keep him from standing up and getting away), you laughed even harder. Bokuto snickered from where he lay on the floor at Iwaizumi’s gruff, “get off me”, but you knew better than to give in so early.

      He threatened. He cursed. He swore you’d regret every single decision in your life. But Iwaizumi Hajime still found himself wrestled onto the floor, stripped out of his shirt and oiled up by you and Bokuto. All the while spitting out curses and what he was going to do to the both of you when he had the chance, of course. 

      It brought you so much pleasure to hear Iwaizumi’s satisfied moans as you pressed your thumbs into his shoulder blades. And well, sitting on his perky, perfectly sculpted butt was a plus.

      “See, Iwa-chan? Didn’t I tell you?” Honestly, you'd never seen Bokuto so smug before. It was definitely too much time with Kuroo. 

      The boy underneath mumbled something you didn’t quite catch, but you chose to assume it was positive. You hoped at least. Plus, it was as good an opportunity as any to chastise the two of them for not doing their stretching exercises. They had two days of rest per week to them from getting injured, but clearly wasn’t enough.

      “What are you two doing that makes you both so tense anyway?”

      You asked, but you knew. Being it your last year of university, there were theses to draft, clean up and present, volleyball games to also focus on while drowning under piles of homework and finals. Not to mention keeping up grades to maintain their scholarships. You were surprised the four of them still held it together so far, though you were starting to see the cracks in Kuroo’s composure. You tried to mitigate the stress by making them food as much as you could, helping out with homework and study sessions, even when you understood nothing or even just this. Though, okay, maybe this massage session was more an excuse to feel up pretty boys.

      And you did enjoy hearing Iwaizumi curse every time you get a particular deep knot. The sudden flex of his back as he arched in pain, accentuating each ripple of muscle was doing things to you.

      “What the hell is this?”

      _Maybe too many things._

      A very disgusted looking Oikawa suddenly appeared behind the couch.

      How to accurately describe his expression? It was equal parts disgust, confusion and disbelief with just a touch of jealousy. Disgust was obvious. You, in a tank top and shorts sitting on his best friend’s butt massaging his oiled up back with his other best friend, also oiled, looking on with approval. Confusion was obvious too. He’d come in with something to say and here you all were, half naked and oiled up. The disbelief came from the fact that you were so open about all of this. Like it was common for you to just oil up each other and rub each other up? One, that was just super gross and two, why was he not invited? The nirvana you were sending Iwaizumi and Bokuto into was something Oikawa wanted to experience too.

      Though from an outsider’s perspective, you could see how it didn’t look so good. What were you going to say? That you weren’t sitting on Iwaizumi’s perky butt, rubbing your oiled hands into his naked back while an equally half naked Bokuto was still moaning about how good he felt on your floor? It was definitely what it looked like. No sense in denying that.

      “How did you even get into my house?”

      "Keys, duh." There was a distinct click of a photo being taken as Oikawa scoffed. A second followed as Oikawa continued to pose in the corner of the shot. From the way Oikawa was furiously typing, you could only assume it was a snap to Kuroo and your life was over. You let out a sigh.  If divorce was on the horizon, better feel up as much of everyone as possible right? “And don’t try to change the subject, (Name)-chan.”

      “What the hell are you even doing here?”

      Continuing to ignore you, Oikawa kicked off his shoes before walking around and plopping himself on the couch. Leaning back, he propped his feet up on the coffee table – and on Iwaizumi and Bokuto’s textbooks – and gave you a self-satisfied grin. “I came here to give you the news, but clearly I’m interrupting something important. I wonder what Tetsu will think of this, (Name)-chan?”

      “That you’re a little shit.” Iwaizumi snatched at the paper Oikawa’s hand. “What the hell is this?”

      Oikawa let out a _“hey!”_ as Iwaizumi scanned the paper. You could see his lips moving as he read, his brows getting more and more furrowed as he went on before he handed it to Bokuto. Whatever feel good mood you’d managed to create was gone in an instant.

      “They're moved up the training camp? I thought it was three weeks from now!”

      Oikawa shrugged casually, but his face was just as pinched as both wing spikers. “Sakura University decided to move it up a week for some reason.”

      “Eh? But what about Fuji University?” Bokuto skimmed the paper again. "I thought we were meeting them first."

      “We’re hosting them next week. Coach already discussed it with me and Tetsu and its all set.”

      Expressions hardened as the three of them thought about what their schedules would be like. You knew Bokuto had an anatomy mid-final coming up soon and now with the training camp coming up, you doubted he’d really focus on it. Iwaizumi had a paper to turn in first thing next week, which was why he was at your apartment in the first place. Not to mention that the professors Kuroo and Oikawa shared liked to give out surprise tests to see who was paying attention in class and reading the material.

      What happened to trying to relax and keep calm before their games like their coach had commanded? Deadlines were coming up and now everything was thrown out of order.

      This was a nightmare.

      Seeing the expressions on the boys' faces, you classped your hands. "Hey, hey! This is all stuff that can be dealt with later! Right now we have to focus on the now!" You forced yourself to stand and clapped your hands again. “Right now, let’s have lunch!”

      “I’m not in the mood for lun—”

      You slapped a hand to Iwaizumi’s mouth. You shoved your phone at Oikawa with strict instructions to call the take out place for everyone’s favorite meal, you forced the dark haired boy back against the couch. His books were put in his lap, the pencil picked up off the floor and put into his hands. Bokuto had the same done to him.  Ignoring their protests and Oikawa’s demands for _silence dammit_ you went off to get more tea. The cheesecake your mother in law had brought when she’d come to take your children away was set in front of them with instructions to eat when their take out came and soon everyone was calm again.

      It was nice to hear the scritch scratch of pencils on paper, the occasional ask for help on a word or problem and quiet snacking as they worked. At least until Bokuto and Oikawa set Iwaizumi off again. There was nothing you could do to prevent the beatings both of them received except threaten one boy and comfort the others. 

      Letting out a long sigh, you leaned back against the couch to look at the three of them.

      Despite a lot of drama in your life, somethings never really change do they?


	12. Birthdays

        Tobio had never had a proper birthday.

      He barely remembered his birth mother, a woman who was little more than a faceless shape and a kind voice. If there had ever been a party in his honor while he still had birth parents, he had no memory of them. His foster mother – if she could even be called that — had barely remembered he had a birthday at all.

      When she’d finally remembered, she had gone out to buy a day old cupcake, shoved a used candle on it and that was it. No presents, no party, nothing. It was nothing like the parties the other kids or their parents talked about at his previous daycare, nor what he saw on TV. Just a sad, stale cupcake and a slowly melting candle to celebrate his birthday.

      Now here he sat at the table, a large, decorated cake with his name in loopy, blue icing on it, five candles artfully arranged on top, a stupid hat that proclaimed him a birthday boy on his head and five adults and three boys cheerfully singing happy birthday in front of him.

      Tobio’s eyes lifted to meet each person in the room as they sang. His brothers were kneeling on chairs against the table, leant forward so they took could see the cake blown out while the adults stood behind them. Each one of them looked at him with cheerful smiles, love and joy in their eyes as he continued to stare. Uncle Bokuto and Uncle Tooru were quietly trying to out clap and out sing each other, Daddy was trying to keep Shouyou from falling of the chair as he sang with his knee, and Uncle Hajime was trying to keep Lev from leaning too far forward.

      Worse yet, there was Mama, smiling brightly at him with the softest expression he had ever seen. It all felt too real and far too much and Tobio immediately burst into tears.

      With his face in his hands, Mama let out a laugh that was more sympathetic cooing and rushed to his side. Tobio let himself be swept into Mama’s arms and buried his face in her chest as he sobbed. He could feel his hat being crushed as he pressed himself harder against her chest and that made him sob even harder. All of this was for him, from people who apparently cared immensely about him and now he was ruining it by crying and destroying the party decorations.

      “Do you want to take a break?”

      Tobio nodded, his arms tightening around Mama’s neck as she rubbed his back. He felt the soft rubble of her body shaking from trying to fight a laugh before she kissed the top of his head.

      Just like that, the candles were quickly put out and the sniffling boy away was carried out of the room. Throughout his shuddering sobs, Mama kept up the soothing words in his ear and the rubs to his back. Sometimes she’d say something funny and make him laugh which helped lessen his sobs. Finally after a while, Tobio managed to stop sobbing and was taken to wash his face. It took some convincing, but eventually Tobio decided he was ready to return to the party in the living room where everyone awaited him.

      Once the candles were relit, Lev pressed extra close to the cake only to be dragged away by Uncle Hajime to prevent a repeat of Shouyou’s birthday disaster and, still in Mama’s arms, Tobio leaned forward and blew out the candles. Everyone clapped and whooped as he did, sending the dark haired boy into another fit of tears.

      Now, sitting in Mama’s lap, Tobio watched as the presents were piled on the table in the front of him. 

      There was meant to be _order_ in how they were going to be given to the birthday boy. It had even been discussed and preplanned because the last time had been a mess and things had gotten chaotic.

      But Uncle Tooru had all but shoved his gift into Tobio’s arms. The little boy was sure no one had ever seen such a million watt smile on the setter as Tobio carefully tore open the package. When the wrapping paper was finally off, he opened the box to reveal a red and white child’s jersey.

      “Do you like it Tobio-chan?” Tobio took the shirt and held it against his body. “It’s a replica of the national team’s jerseys!”

      There was quick snap of his head to Uncle Tooru, the shirt and Uncle Tooru again. Tobio’s eyes flickered to Uncle Tooru, to Uncle Kou whose smile nearly matched the setter’s and his brothers’ clearly envious expressions before Tobio set the jersey on the table with a soft _“Oh.”_

      During one of Daddy’s practice games, Tobio and his brothers had practiced with the second string members while Daddy and the others practiced for their game. When they were given a break, their coach had nodded his head in approval at them before telling Daddy that, in a few years and with enough practice, Tobio would one day be a great setter. After some ribbing among the other players, someone said he might even surpass the great Oikawa.

      Whatever pride he’d been feeling was gone at that announcement. Might? Of course he was going to surpass Uncle Tooru! Like, Uncle Tooru was amazing and clearly the best _ever_ , but only Tobio was going to beat him. He was going to be the best setter in the whole country, making it onto the National team! Maybe even in the whole world! He even had the jersey to prove it.

      Tears welled up in his eyes again as he continued to hold onto the shirt.

      “Oi, look what you did, Shittykawa!”

      Tobio watched as Uncle Hajime made that angry face he always made at Uncle Tooru before giving him a particularly hard punch to his gut.

      “Oww, Iwa-chan! That hurts!”

      Their bickering started up again, slowly including Uncle Kou until Tobio couldn’t take it again more.

      “Stop! Stop hurting, Uncle Tooru!”

      Escaping Mama’s arms, the dark hair boy threw himself onto Uncle Tooru’s curled up body while continuing to fiercely demand that the pounding Uncle Hajime was giving the setter stop.

      There was amusement in Uncle Hajime’s face as he slowly backed down that morphed into hurt. “So he’s your favorite uncle? I thought we had something special. I even got you presents!”

      This was the part where Tobio knew he should have said that everyone was his favorite. That there were no favorites. Only uncles he loved very much. But that wouldn’t have been the truth and Mama said he should try to tell the truth as much as he could. So of course he proudly announced that Uncle Tooru was his favorite.

      Protests erupted in the room. Daddy laughed out loud. Both Uncle Kou and Uncle Hajime began to exclaim that they were _obviously_ better. They even gave him a list of reasons just why they were. But Tobio was insistent. Uncle Tooru was the one that he loved the most and that was it.

      The dark haired boy sat in Uncle Tooru’s arms as he finished opening his presents. The adults continued to argue, but it was more banter than anything else. It was fun and playful, a gathering to celebrate him and being together. Tears welled up in his eyes again.

      Tobio had never had a birthday party until now.

      There had been no gathering, no cake, no blowing out of candles and birthday wishes and certainly not any kind of gift giving. But staring into the each face, those three boys trying to sneak away a present so they could see what was inside or the adults too busy arguing about how they were better than each other one way or another, Tobio was suddenly okay with that.

      There had been no cake or candles, no birthday wishes and presents before, but now there was and for the first time, this one was certainly one of the best days he’d experienced in his young life.


	13. Interrupted

“Hey, sexy lady. Looking to have a good time?”

You didn’t even need to look in his direction to know Kuroo was leaning seductively against the steamed up glass doors of the frozen food section. His cheeks were still red from his obvious run here and his clothes were disheveled, but thank god he still had enough stamina to pose while giving you stupid one-liners.

“If you slip again, I’m going to send it to everyone this time.”

You didn’t bother acknowledging him as you pulled open the door next to him and compared vegetable bags. The boys liked the mixed bag, but the aptly named oriental bag was tastier. Which one to buy? 

“(Name)…”

You ignored him as you continued to compare, mentally going through the list of things you could make with each bag. The list was pretty even for both bags, so that didn't help any. Then again, neither was Kuroo. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him posing a little harder, even going so far as to flex his arms to get your attention. Anyways, you could try that stir-fry your mother in law made that one time. The boys really loved it…

“(Naaame)…”

Maybe both then? They’d sit in your fridge for when you needed them and that way you didn’t need to—

“Just get them both and pay attention to me!”

You looked over at Kuroo and snorted. All of his posturing suddenly devolved into a slumped over man child, all because he had been for five minutes. You were pretty familiar enough with the routine by now that you knew if you didn’t do something to lift his mood, Kuroo would sulk the rest of the walk home. Letting out a sigh, you dropped the two bags into your cart before stepping up to your husband. Pushing yourself up onto your tiptoes and making sure there was no one around, you gave him a quick kiss. 

“I really don’t know who’s worse. You, Tooru or Kou. I swear the three of you were deprived of attention as kids.”

“Is that why you want to be with Iwaizumi?” Kuroo said as he followed you out of the frozen food section of the supermarket. “Is it because I’m needy?”

Don’t respond, you thought to yourself. You’ll only encourage him. 

Kuroo trailed behind you as you made your way through the store, probably amused at your reaction to his taunts, but you weren’t going to turn and confirm whether or not that was true. That would only add more fuel to the fire. Stopping in the milk section, you added two more cartons to the growing pile of groceries in your cart. While milk was very good for a growing boy, it seemed your own child had a fondness for taking it too far. His enablers even made it worse with their premium brands and special, limited edition flavors. 

“I passed my paper, by the way.”

You turned to Kuroo and raised an eyebrow at him. “Did you? You’re welcome, by the way.”

“Don’t get so full of yourself, by the way. It wasn’t that great, by the way.”

“See? This is why I like Hajime. He appreciates me, unlike you.”

You gave Kuroo a wolfish smile before taking the cart from him and turning the corner. That same half hurt, half shell-shocked expression from before was there on his face again as you set your groceries on the conveyor belt, but it only made you want to laugh. Kuroo was so easy to mess with. 

Delegating the heavier bags to your husband (because he was so much stronger than you), the two of you rushed off to the daycare. Once Kuya-san and the rest of the daycare staff let the boys out of the gated center, you and Kuroo set about the task of gathering backpacks, coats and lunchboxes from their cubbies. Coats were zipped up, backpacks put on and goodbyes given to the daycare workers before you were rushing out the door. 

It had started to flurry by the time you were finally on your way. Kuroo did his best at herding the boys in a single file line to keep them from slipping on the icy sidewalks, but there was only so much he could do with Kenma sitting on his shoulders. The little boy had made the mistake of stepping left when he should have stepped right right into a slushy pile of snow and now had a thoroughly soaked shoe and a foul mood. 

Upon being set down in the apartment, said shoe was promptly torn off and chucked away along with his coat and backpack before Kenma stomped off to his room. You weren’t surprised when your cats decided to follow after him and ignored you despite offering them their treats. They always had a sixth sense for upset children and how to calm them. Once undressed, the other boys trailed after them and you both found yourselves alone in the kitchen. 

“Well that was fun.”

You snorted. “What’d you expect? I hate wet shoes too.”

“Speaking of,” Kuroo set as put away the groceries in their various places. “I need you to wash my gym clothes before Monday. I’m not going to have time after my labs.”

You watched him for a moment with pursed lips. As co-captain, Kuroo had been the one tasked with setting up the dormitories for the Fuji University team’s arrival. After making sure they were up to your universities standards, he’d also been the one to figure out the meal plan for the week. It had been a stressful few days and he and Oikawa had finally managed to work everything out with the coach and higher ups. 

But now you could tell he needed to rest. There were growing dark circles under his eyes that grew a little darker each day. 

“Leave it in the hamper and I’ll get to it as soon as I can tomorrow.”

Kuroo nodded and leaned back against the counter. He sucked in a deep breath, cupped his face with his hands and let out a long, long exhale. “You’ll have to wake up me tomorrow at 5 too. Tooru and I have to personally greet the team with the coaches.”

You pushed yourself off from the counter and wrapped your arms around your husband. It felt good, you had to admit, to have him hug you tightly. It was also nice to have him finally relax into you, head resting on your shoulder and arms wrapped around your waist, even if you couldn’t really handle his full body weight. 

“Ya know, for someone who is constantly harping on Tooru for overworking himself, it’s kind of ironic to see you doing the same thing.”

Kuroo snorted into your shoulder. “Not like I have any choice. Do you want me to graduate or not?”

You were about to reply with something snarky when Kuroo pushed himself off you. From his confused expression, you instantly knew it was about one of the boys, though what, you couldn’t guess. 

“What’s wrong?”

Shouyou fidgeted in place, eyes looking everywhere but the two of you. His tiny fingers twisted themselves together against his shirt and his mouth opened a few times, but nothing came out. Finally, when you couldn’t take it anymore, he said in a tiny voice. “One of the kitties puked in the bedroom.”

Just when you were having a moment. You let out a sigh and pressed your head against Kuroo’s chest. This was just how you wanted to spend your evening. Pulling open the cabinet, you had just taken out the paper towels when you noticed Shouyou still fiddling in place. 

“Is there more you need to tell us?”

Please, God, don’t say there is…

“Um…Well, it was really yucky and smelled really bad and” Shouyou’s eyes searched both of your eyes before continuing in a tinier voice, “ and Kenma threw up too.” 

You closed your eyes and shook your head. Of course, he did. Just…of course. 

Sometimes, you really regretted becoming a parent.


	14. Why

       “Hey, Tetsu.”

       Kuroo turned his head towards the voice in the dark. “What?”

       “Does it bother you?” Oikawa’s words slurred a bit at the end, certainly not helped by the sudden swig he took from the beer bottle. 

       “What doesn’t bother me?” 

       Another swig before Oikawa sucked in a deep breath. “Lev’s hair is silver.”

       A slight paused followed Oikawa’s words and Kuroo was left feeling like it was the most obvious thing in the world he was supposed to know. Maybe it was the two beers he’d already had? Not counting the liquor they’d all had before that, of course. Or maybe it was the slight sleep deprivation from the constant overworking their coach forced them into because of their upcoming game and this training camp. But how was Lev’s hair being silver so obvious? 

       “What about it?”

       Somewhere in the dark, Kuroo could hear Oikawa shifting somewhere to his right. Someone grunted – Kuroo assumed Bokuto, but it could have easily been Iwaizumi – before Oikawa let out a huff. He reached out, scrambling in the air for a second before he found what he was looking for and patted Kuroo’s cheek lazily, almost feeling his face. 

       “Doesn’t it bother you that _Kou_ has silver hair?”

       Kuroo felt his eyes roll out of his skull. Just when he thought they'd gotten over this stupid joke, Oikawa brings it up again. It wasn't funny the first time they'd told it and it wasn't funny all the other times after. 

       Kuroo was too drunk to move properly, but he managed to roll himself onto his side and sucked in a deep breath. “Tooru—”

       “No!” Oikawa’s hand suddenly glued itself to Kuroo’s mouth. “Think about it, Tetsu. They were both at the party! They both disappeared at the same time. And Lev and Kou are both freaking weird and hyper all the time!”

       Oikawa was growing more agitated. God, Kuroo was too drunk for this. “Tooru, we’ve—”

       “What if you find out he really is Kou’s son? What is that going to do to the four of us? We’re a team!” Oikawa let out a wail. His hand had returned to stroking Kuroo’s face, made worse by the little hiccups between each breath that Kuroo knew all too well would end up in whiny sobs. “We can’t break up!”

       “We’re not going to “break up” because Lev isnt’—”

       “And you know what’s worse?” Oikawa said, louder, much more agitated than before. 

       No, he didn’t, but Kuroo also knew that once he started, Oikawa wouldn’t stop so it was best to let him finish his cry fest. 

       “Have you ever thought about how similar Kenma is to Hajime?” Oikawa shuffled a little closer to Kuroo, somehow managing to snuggle against him. “What if Kenma isn’t yours either? It’d be the end of our whole friendship!”

       Why? 

       Why was he always the one who was up with Oikawa during these stupid  training camps or sleepovers? He swore to god Iwaizumi and Bokuto did this to him on purpose. Bokuto got too drunk and hyper for his good and always crashed and Iwaizumi couldn’t hold his liquor. All it took was one good bottle of alcohol and he was out like a light. 

       That was a fucking lie. It had to be. Now here he was, listening to his best friend beat his chest while crying about how his other best friends were the real fathers of his children. And that his wife was a cheating whore who was going to tear them up because, god Kuroo, couldn’t you put bros before hoes? 

       The buzz was wearing off. His chest was beginning to ache from the amount of times Oikawa had hit him. His shirt was now soggy with tears and probably snot from Oikawa’s sobbing, but Kuroo wasn’t going to think about that one. Worse yet, it was getting earlier and earlier in the morning and Kuroo hadn’t gotten any sleep. 

       He was about to shush the stupid setter when Kuroo felt the weight lift off him. He started to rejoice, but stopped when he heard someone grunt. 

       Not just anyone and just any old “whyyy”. 

       “Iwa-chaaan.” 

       Kuroo sat up just in time to see a clearly wasted Oikawa slap a sleeping Iwaizumi _hard_ across the face. 

       “Why would you do it, Iwa-chaaan?”

       Iwaizumi shot up. He looked around the slowly brightening room until his eyes came to focus on his friend. Just in time to get another slap. Kuroo felt his blood freeze. 

       “What the _hell_ , Shittykawa!” 

       Iwaizumi aimed a kick in his direction, but, having his legs still tangled in the bed sheets, missed and instead had his foot sink into the semi soft side of Bokuto next to Oikawa. Another grunt. Another person sitting up suddenly. Another curse. 

       They were college seniors. They were legal adults. Kuroo was even a parent. They were incredibly hung over, overworked and sleep deprived. But, God, Kuroo had never seen a situation dissolve into a fist fight so quickly. 

       Pushing himself up (and totally falling on his ass), Kuroo tried to put himself between Iwaizumi as he swung out yet again. Oikawa was screaming something about his pretty face while cowering and kicking his legs at anyone who got close. Kuroo felt the distant feel of something wet hit his hand before feeling a fist on his jaw. It dissolved from there into a cartoon like fight ball with arms and legs in every which direction, punctuated with horrible insults and threats. Kuroo was sure they were going to be carried out— because Iwaizumi didn’t half ass anything, dammit — when the lights came on in the room. 

       The door slammed against the wall and creaked loudly just in time to see their coach, a wizened old man all four of them swore had crawled out from a pit in hell, stomp into the room. 

       “What the _hell_ do the four of you _think_ you are doing?” His beady eyes scanned the room, making an inventory of the empty bottles of alcohol in the room, the blood and still tangled college senior, legal adults on the floor kicking the crap out of each other.“It is fucking 2:37 in the god damned morning. Fighting? Drunk fighting? Are you children? Did you lose your minds? What fucking adults act like this?”

       Kuroo tries to explain, but their coach shuts him up with a wave of his hand. The other coaches are crowding around the doorway now, some of the other players too. Kuroo swears he wants to die. He wants Iwaizumi to go through with his threat to ram the butt of his palm into his nose so hard it kills him. But that doesn’t happen. 

       No. It’s worse. 

       It wasn’t the first, but dammit if it wasn’t going to be the last time Kuroo was going to drink with these three fucking idiots he had decided to befriend in high school. Almost ten years of this? His fat lip and the bloody nose? Oikawa’s split cheek and sniffling sobs? Bokuto’s black eye and busted up knuckles and Iwaizumi’s scratched up face? Not to mention the scrapes, pulled out hair and bruises all over their bodies from their struggle. 

       None of this was worth it. 

       Oikawa collapsed on the ground just as they crossed the gym lines. One look at the others told Kuroo they were the same as him: tired and completely soaked with sweat. 

       “Does that look like 200 runs?” A shrill sound of a whistle had Oikawa up in a second. Weak sobs left his and Bokuto’s mouths as they readied themselves for another set of laps. Iwaizumi’s mumbling sounded like some satanic prayer at this point. “This is what you get for disobeying the rules. Now set!”

       None of this was fucking worth it. 

       “Go!”


	15. True Love

        “Uncle Hajime! Uncle Hajime!”

      The screaming shouts of four small boys echoed through the gym as they all rushed in. Whatever he was saying to his teammates died on his lips as four pairs of feet slapped at the floor and four flushed and out of breath boys came to a halt in front of him. Murmurs filled the gym as everyone looked over each others shoulders to see what the boys were so excited about. Where before they had been all focused on whatever formation Iwaizumi had been trying to get them to learn, they were now focused on the small children begging for Iwaizumi's attention. 

      The wing spiker could tell from the way they were wriggling in place with wide eyes and grabby hands that they were desperate to tell him something, but just what that was, he didn't know. What he does know is that they’re clearly hiding something behind Tobio and Lev’s backs. He almost uses his team voice on them when he crouches down and looks each boy in the eye to ask them, “What are you hiding?”

      Shouyou steps forward, a smile too big for his face stretching his lips, and grabs Iwaizumi’s face. “Do you remember when you were playing the arcade game a while ago and kept losing, Uncle Hajime? Do you? Do you? Hmm?”

      Iwaizumi swears he has flash backs to that day right then and there. Did he remember the arcade game? Of course Iwaizumi remembered. With their training camp a week away, Coach had been riding them hard to be in top shape. They had to beat Sakura University when they came and anything less than that was unacceptable to Coach. So after a late night practice, he and the others had decided they needed a treat to pick them up before heading home. 

      It was when they had turned the corner that Iwaizumi had seen the plush in the arcade out of the corner of his eye. It was nothing but a glance, but that was all he needed to know that _he needed it._ He must have spent an hour trying to win that stupid plush and probably spent some 8,000 yen on that machine. In the end, he only got to hear the stupid cat, owl and alien boy wonder mock him hysterically all the way home.

      The throttling the three of them had gotten towards the end had helped relieve some of his disappointment, but it didn’t make up for the fact that there was no plush awaiting him at home.

      Giving Shouyou a small nod, Iwaizumi watched the little boy’s expression go almost manic. A feverish look had overtaken the boys, even Kenma who was usually far more reserved than this, and made Iwaizumi wonder just what they were hiding. And what did it have to do with the arcade game?

      “Do you remember how sad you were when you didn’t get it?”

      Iwaizumi was acutely aware of the snickers breaking out amongst his teammates. He swore he could hear Kuroo not so quietly whispering to someone that " _The_ Iwaizumi was _soooo_ sad over a child’s toy? Oh, ho, ho."

      He ignored it and focused on Shouyou instead. 

      "We kept annoying Mama until she took us back to play the game again! She said we spent like 1000 yen before we got it, but we did it!” Shouyou’s little hands shook Iwaizumi’s face as he wiggled a little harder. “Mama said we had to wait until your birthday to give it to you, but we couldn’t wait!” 

      What?

      “It was Tobio who figured it after a while—” Kenma started protest. 

      Was that a blush coming over his cheeks?

      “But it was Kenma who finally managed to win it!”

      No…

      Did they…?

      Iwaizumi felt his heart start to beat a little harder. His stomach felt like it was suddenly filled with butterflies, all them desperate to escape.

      _Calm down._ They didn’t. _They really didn’t._

      “Look!”

      Stepping aside, Tobio and Lev thrust the almost Kenma sized Godzilla plushie into Iwaizumi’s face.

      He blinked.

      There it was with its open mouth in a snarl, its hands close to its body with its claws ready to attack, dark grey and made of soft fabric. Just like it was when Iwaizumi had first seen it in that glass case that night so many days ago. He’d wanted it then and he wanted it now.

      “Th-thank you.”

      It took all he had to keep himself from snatching it out of Lev’s hands, but the silver haired boy didn’t seem to mind at all. In fact the quivering from the four of them was now a vibration he could feel in his bones. In perfect unison, the four boys shouted, “Happy Birthday” before tackling Iwaizumi to the ground in hug.

      As he disentangled himself from the children demanding to know if he really liked it and was he happy and did they do good, hmm, Iwaizumi straightened himself. He cleared his throat, smoothed down his uniform and started to walk towards you. The snickers from his teammates slowly faded away as Iwaizumi got closer to you until they were confused murmurs filling the gym.

      Carefully setting the Godzilla plushie onto the bleachers beside you, Iwaizumi dropped to one knee and took your hand in his.

      “(Name)?”

      You had never seen him look so serious outside of a volleyball game. Just what was he planning? 

      “Yes?”

      Iwaizumi kissed the back of your hand and nodded to himself. “Please do me the honor of divorcing Tetsu so I can have the honor of being your husband instead.”

      “Eh?!”

      Kuroo's desperate shouts for them to _hold the hell up_ were just the thing to replace the memory of him making fun of Iwaizumi. What sweet memories, indeed. 


	16. Not the Face

        “Ow! (Name), that hurts!”

      Bokuto slapped at your hands and jerked back. Drops of blood dribbled down his chin as he flinched and stained his shirt. He didn’t get far, sitting as he was against the wall, but it was enough to dodge your hands on his face. Those round, golden eyes of his bored into your own as he pouted, which of course only fed your frustration. You let out a long, held in breath.

      Blood was dripping from his nose and down his lip in a horrifying mess, but that didn’t seem to faze the gray-haired boy. His face was slowly turning a light shade of purple, his nose and lip crusted with drying blood and his jersey dirty, but still Bokuto resisted. At times like these, you swore he was worse than the boys.

      At the very least the boys didn’t require you to straddle them and use your weight to keep them still. It was a good thing their coach had simply replaced Bokuto with a second-year player and forced the team to return to their game because you were sure the catcalling and teasing would have only made Bokuto even more frenzied than he was. And all you wanted was just to drop off Kuroo's keys. 

      “Well, who told you to get yourself smacked in the face by the volleyball?” Grabbing hold of his chin, you forced him immobile. “Now stop moving so I can stop the bleeding!”

      “It’s not like I asked for it!” Bokuto jerked his head away again, just as you finally got a good grip on his jaw. You swore, you were seething now.

      “Kou, for the love of God!”

      You had meant to apply the ice pack to his face in a calm, rational manner. There would have been an explanation as to why you needed an ice pack, followed by a tissue to clean off the drying blood on his chin and lip. But as Bokuto kept fighting you, you simply slapped the ice pack on his face.

      Its effect was instantaneous. Bokuto's eyes widened as the cold spread across his skin and you seized the moment to act. Grabbing hold of the wet wipe, you quickly cleaned away the mess on his chin. The jersey would have to be washed later, but that was out of your hands for the moment.

      “Lean forward, okay. If you swallow blood, you might vomit. And we both know how you are with that, right?”

      You ignored the mocking tone Bokuto used as you walked away to wash your hands in the sink. Like his jersey, your own shirt was ruined from the splattered drops. Your hands had been smeared too, but that was more Bokuto's fault than your own. At least the ice pack was working it's magic and the owlish boy was finally calmed. That was all that mattered for now.

      “Mama, is Uncle Kou going to be okay?”

      You glanced down at the dark haired boy at your side. Blue eyes searched your face for reassurance before they wandered over to the gray haired man child sitting on the bench a bit away. It was both concerning and amusing to hear the trembling tone in Tobio’s voice. After his temper tantrum that morning at the daycare, to see him so full of concern for someone else was funny.

      “He’s going to be fine, kiddo. He’s just being annoying.”

      Your words didn’t seem to convince the little boy. Still looking over at Bokuto, he grabbed onto your leg and mumbled, “But there was blood!”

      You finished drying your hands and bent down. It had never really occurred to you that Tobio would be sensitive to blood before, even if it was just a nose bleed. But knowing what you did about his past, it only made sense. He didn’t seem too traumatized by the sight of it at the moment, but you knew it was only a matter of time, if ever, for that to happen.

      Smiling at the little boy, you brushed back his hair. “Uncle Kou’s okay. He’s tough!”

      Tobio didn’t seem to be swayed. His brows were furrowed and his mouth parted, but you could see the gears in his mind slowly turning. That was the worst part about childhood, wasn’t it? Having all these emotions and thoughts you wanted to get out, but not having the words for them.

      “That other guy did it on purpose, Mama. Why would he do that?”

      How to explain these things to a four year old? It wasn’t as if the game had been unfriendly before. Their respective teams had greeted each other properly and quickly set the gym up for their match. But after what seemed like too many "accidental" fly balls or plays that seemed like they were meant to injure someone, something had changed. There was no doubt in your mind that the ball Bokuto had taken to the face wasn’t anything but intentional, but proving that to the coaches was the difficult part. Regardless, practice game or not, you were sure the rest of the team was out for revenge now.

      Especially since Kuroo and the others didn’t take too kindly to people hurting their friends. Previous "accidents" had led to some… unsavory situations and you definitely didn’t want a repeat of high school.

      “I think it’s stopped.”

      The muffled voice snapped you out the surfacing memory. Turning to Bokuto you inspected his nose and the bruising on his face. There was no way he wasn't going to be sporting a circle shaped bruise for a while after this, but you knew he'd somehow play it off as nothing.

      “Can I at least go out now?” The whine in his voice was palpable.

      "Yeah you can go, but you're sitting out like (Name) said. And keep the ice pack on your face."

      Could the ear piercing scream in the locker room burst your ear drums? It was a wonder you didn't hit your head on the roof from how high you had jumped. And despite how fast you had jumped into Bokuto's arms, getting the scare of your life didn't stop you from immediately slapping at Iwaizumi's arm. 

      "Don't. Do. That! Gah!"

      Accidentally soaking himself with his water bottle and denting it when it crashed to the floor was the least of what he deserved.

      “Oi, dammit (Name)! Stop!”

      “No, (Name) don’t! It’s hilarious!”

      Iwaizumi swung around and glared at the grinning cat leaning against the wall. He, like Iwaizumi and Bokuto before the accident, looked thoroughly exhausted. You were familiar enough with the four of them to know when they were getting frustrated during a game and how they tended to push themselves too hard and it was obvious now. You had missed the first set of the game, but from what the second and first years had said, it was much the same was this one. The other team started playing fair, then slowly devolved into playing dirty.

      “Miyazaki’s out, just to let you know. His ankle’s shot.”

      Kuroo’s grin got wider, but there was no humor in it. In his eyes was only anger. But for the sake of the child in between everyone he didn’t let out the torrent of curse words he and the others wanted to let out.

      “Where’s Oikawa?”

      Leaving the doorway, Kuroo scooped up Tobio on the ground. He gave you a raised eyebrow over your son’s shoulder, but continued to address Iwaizumi. “Coach asked him to wait with Miyazaki. At least until the people from the clinic show up.”

      Both Iwaizumi and Bokuto grunted at that. It wasn’t the first time in the four years the four of them had had to wait for someone from the university clinic to inspect a player, but just the thought that it was an injury that was on purpose and not an accident made the whole thing worse.

      You started to say something in other to difuse the mood, when Kuroo turned his attention to the child in his arms. “Hey, wanna tell me why you aren’t at daycare like your brothers?”

      Tobio’s eyes widened at the question. With a sharp inhale, he went limp, making it easier for him to escape Kuroo’s arms. Once his feet were on the ground, Tobio tried to get behind your legs and use you as a shield, but Iwaizumi was too quick. Holding the little boy by the arms, both he and Kuroo squatted down to his eye level with expectant looks on their faces. Tobio looked back at you with an expression of desperation, including wide, pleading eyes and a trembling lip, but you pretended not to see it.

      “Well?”

      Bokuto also dropped down onto his haunches. Pure panic had taken over Tobio’s face and he was begging, _pleading_ with you to have mercy on his little soul. But you continued to ignore him.

      Finally, after much more prompting from everyone, Tobio let out a quick, “Theyweren’tgoingtohavemilkforlunchtoday.”

      “Eh? Come again.”

      “Theyweren’tgoingtohavemilkforlunchtoday!”

      You were laughing now. Here you were with all these preoccupations of what was important in your life from bills to schoolwork and everything in between and your child had had an existential life crisis for something completely mundane.

      Seeing that they hadn’t made sense of the garbled mumble, Tobio sucked in a deep, angry breath into his puffed up chest. “I said! They weren't going to have milk for lunch today.” He turned to look each adult in their eyes, staring deep into their souls for a shred of compassion. “I gotta have milk with lunch! You can’t take it away!”

      Silence, if it could, seemed to echo inside the locker room. Kuroo, Iwaizumi and Bokuto shared a look of confusion, as if they couldn't comprehend what they'd just heard. The three of them had been bordering on a rampage against the other team’s players, but with Tobio’s incensed confession, they found themselves laughing hysterically.

      Guess you didn't a one liner after all because, after that confession, the situation was definitely diffused after that. 


	17. Volleyball

       "Kenma, look!"

     The golden eyed boy turned his attention from the pudding cup he was eating to look at his brother. Lev beamed at him from their father’s lap, Kuroo’s finger pulling the tip of his nose up. Kenma blinked at the sight before realizing Lev looked exactly like a pig. He had the good sense to swallow the spoonful of pudding before he burst into snorts of laughter, sending Oikawa into a fit of laughter himself.

     Pressing his own finger to Kenma’s nose, Oikawa pulled it back guffawed at how he looked. “You can really see the family resemble like this, Tetsu-chan.”

     “Oi!” 

     “Wait, wait!” Oikawa frantically waved a finger at his messy haired friend while pivoting in place. Scanning the gym, his eyes flitted over across the gym until he found the two he was looking for. “Kou-chan! Shouyou! Come here for a second! Hurry, hurry!”

     Bokuto and Shouyou each shot up to look at the chocolate haired setter. The two of them had been having an intense staring contest and to have it so rudely interrupted when each of them was _sure_ they were going to win—well it had to be important, right? 

     Trotting over to the Oikawa and the others, Bokuto had barely time to open his mouth to ask what Oikawa wanted when Shouyou was pulled out of his grip. Oikawa pressed his hands to Shouyou’s hair so that it covered his right eye (like a certain someone they all knew) while urging Bokuto to pulled up Shouyou’s nose. 

     “See, Tetsu?” Oikawa was shaking from his giggles while Kuroo glared holes in his body. “He looks just like you!”

     Bokuto and Oikawa gaffawed with laughter until even the boys were giggling, much to Kuroo’s utter joy. How many years had everyone been repeating that same joke? Yeah, he got it. His hair was a wild mess. It’d been like that for like 80% of his life. Tell him something he didn’t know. 

     “Hilarious, you alien half breed. No wonder you and Owl Boy Wonder over there are best friends.” Kuroo made a face and flipped the two of them off. That was, until he remembered there were some very impressionable children in his immediate area. Crap.

     “You’re just jealous you weren't part of the special breeding program when the aliens came to earth.” Tugging Kenma, Shouyou and Lev to his body, Oikawa leaned back into Bokuto. “Like, you’re not a cool wing spiker like Kou-chan and Iwa-chan. You’re not even a brilliant setter, like yours truly. You’re just a middle blocker.”

     Both Bokuto and Oikawa stuck out their tongues and pulled down their right bottom eyelid.

     “Oh yeah? That’s not what your mom was saying when I—”

     “Oi!” Iwaizumi’s shadow suddenly fell over their little group, causing everyone sit up as straight as they could at the sound of his voice. Even with a four year old dangling from his arms, Iwaizumi still looked scary as hell and capable of beating them to a fine pulp. The three of them wondered how he even managed that, but decided the best course of action was to keep quiet instead. 

     “I go and take a leak really quick and this is what I come back to? Especially such vulgar language? Who are the kids here? Them or you three?” The three of them started to protest, but one point of Iwaizumi’s finger had them shutting up in an instant. Turning his deadly glare to Kuroo, Iwaizumi spat, “Where are the snacks? You neglecting these kids?”

     Ah, that’s right. The whole purpose of this break was to feed the black hole that was a four year old’s stomach. Rummaging through his duffel bag, Kuroo took out the plastic bag that contained the boys’ lunch. Onigiri were quickly handed out to each boy, followed by cartons of milk (at which Tobio’s eyes grew ten times their size). Next were the sandwiches, a more filling snack for Kuroo and the others.

     Volleyball practice took more than a simple salmon filled rice to fill up a grown adult, after all. 

     The sound of chewing filled the silence of their little group. Kuroo helped each child puncture the carton of milk as well as pulling up the flaps so that no child had to squeeze the carton and spill their drink. That little trick had earned him much praise from the mothers at the park when he'd fed the boys. Not only was he an attractive, young father taking out the kids, he even managed to come up with a way to avoid a mess. (Name) was utterly lucky to have gotten him. 

     "Is that real salmon you're feeding the kids?" 

     Iwaizumi's voice broke Kuroo out of his thoughts. Looking over to where his friend was inspecting the onigiri (that he of course made himself, another plus for (Name), eh). "'Course, my dude. Go big or go home."

     "More like go broke and have (Name) divorce your sorry ass." 

     "But he's gotta wait until our game." Oikawa snatched up his own carton of milk and took an exaggerated sip. "That way, when we win, (Name) will see how amazing I am and fall for me."

     The chocolate haired setter threw up a peace sign and his trademark winky face. 

     "Jokes on you, Shittykawa. You're not even her third choice."

     "Okay!" Kuroo clapped his hands, desperately trying avoid the coming beat down Oikawa was about to receive with his retort. "I think we should go back to practicing!"

     Loud groans escaped Bokuto. He dramatically threw himself backwards, splayed every limb as wide as possible and gave another loud groan. Half hushed giggling escaped the boys as they watched their uncle all but roll around on the ground in protest at the thought of practice. It was important, _he knew_. But it was now week three and he was tired. Why couldn’t just end it here?

     Bokuto threw them the puppy dog eyes the boys had perfected. “Please?”

     “How are we supposed to beat (Team) then?” Iwaizumi threw his wadded up wrapper at the silver haired wing spiker. “Sure we might be amazing, but amazing isn’t going to be that stupid bastard.”

     The mood instantly soured. Just the thought of going against (Team) was enough to add to the stress they were currently under. Beating them meant taking Nationals and maybe if they were lucky, going onto internationals. That’s when their team would shine, bringing not only glory to Japan, but to themselves. It was the best opportunity to get themselves noticed by the National team’s scouts.

     The four of them let themselves imagine it for a moment. Not having to scramble for a salaryman job and only focusing on what they liked to do best. No late hours spent trying to satisfying a boss who didn’t care about them and instead trying to perfect their technique for their next games. Hearing the cheering and excitement of fans as they walked out of the gym, ready to defeat the other team or country.

     “Has Coach said anything about the dates yet?”

     “You know he’s not going to until a week or so before, Tetsu-chan.”

     “Why though?” Bokuto snatched the milk carton out of Lev’s hands and took a long sip. “It’s worse than knowing the day!”

     The five year old glared as hard as he could at his uncle before getting a new carton out of Kuroo’s bag. He made a big show of stabbing the straw into the hole, putting the straw to his lips and drinking the liquid inside, all while maintaining that death glare. Not that it made much of a difference on the owl boy. He only gave Lev a raspberry. 

     “Because he’s old and full of wisdom, remember?” Iwaizumi let out a long sigh. Leaning back, he used his coat as a pillow and put his arm over his eyes. “I have three finals the week before. Worse! How am I supposed to focus on finals after being dead from our training camp?”

     “Oi, quit acting like you’re the worst one off here!”

     “Okay, Money bags. We can’t all afford that salmon like you can. Or have a caring wife to help take the load off.”

     Kuroo smacked Iwaizumi in the thigh. He was up in an instant, delivering a quick pinch to flabby underside of Kuroo’s upper arm. They dissolved into a flurried slap, stab and pinch attack that ended only when Kenma had piped up that he was going to tell Mama that they were fighting again. They were all sure the little pudding head knew exactly what he was doing because he always came out with the promise of apple pies from the convenience store nearby, but how could they prove that?

     “Okay, okay! Let’s get back to practicing! We’ve wallowed in our misery for long enough!” There might have been a hint of fear in Bokuto's eyes as he clapped his hands and waved them away, but Kuroo might have been imagining it. He forced himself up and packed away the uneaten food and drinks then shuffled over to where the other's were waiting. Their team had left about a half hour ago, but the four of them were insistent on practicing for another hour longer. Especially with Nationals on the line. 

     It was only when the boys complained of boredom did the four of them finally call it quits. They had begun a game of tag and were currently screaming their heads off as the rest of the four of them tried to finish sweeping up the gym, dodging in between their legs to escape Tobio who was it. Kuroo should have probably said something, but it was late and they needed to get tired out a bit before coming home. Plus, Kenma had joined in their game in a rare moment of euphoria. Wrangling four boys and two man children out of the gym was a difficult task, but they managed it eventually. It only took a few threats to get there, but if it works, why fix it?

     “Iwa-chan, if you want me to keep blocking for the team, you gotta hit softer.”

     Kuroo adjusted the bag over his shoulder and made sure the gym was truly empty before walking out. Ahead of him, Bokuto had Lev on his shoulders, Shouyou chasing after him while laughing hysterically. Each time Shouyou almost caught Bokuto, he’d leap out of the way and escape.

     “I can’t help that you’re so weak. That’s your problem, not mine.”

     Kuroo locked the gym doors and handed the key to Iwaizumi. Taking hold of Tobio’s hand, they started off. Up ahead, Oikawa had grabbed hold of Shouyou and chased after Bokuto and Lev, earning all of them some glares from the old women walking by. Iwaizumi had lifted Kenma onto his own shoulders and the pudding haired boy looked more than content as he played a game on Iwaizumi’s phone. Assured that each child was accounted for, Kuroo let out the sigh he’d been holding.

     “Let’s stop by the conbini. I need to buy something.”

     “I’m not bailing you out when you’re poor and in need of food for your many children.”

     Kuroo bent and scooped Tobio into his arms. “Don’t be so mean, Iwa-chan.”

     “Maybe I will if you manage to beat (Team).”

     Lev shrieked hysterically as Oikawa ran after Bokuto. The four of them were nearly in tears as they raced each other, totally oblivious to the glaring of older passersby and salarymen on their way home. Tobio squirmed in Kuroo's arms at the sight, half torn about wanting to join them, but staying in the comfort of his father's arms. 

     "Is that a challenge, Iwa-chan?" Kuroo rifled through the bag and handed him a milk carton. After adjusting his bag, he made sure the grip on Tobio was secure. The trademark grin Kuroo often wore when he was planning something devious appeared back on his face and Iwaizumi barely had anytime to react before Kuroo said, “Jokes on you because I know you’re going to hit me anyway.”

     And then he took off running. 

     Iwaizumi blinked. He watched his three friends disappear into the distance until he couldn't take it anymore. Taking his phone from Kenma, he made sure the little boy was firmly in his grasp before he too took off running after his friends. There was only one thought in his mind at that moment and that was, 

      _Damn right, I'm going to hit you, Kuroo Tetsurou!_


	18. Too Early

         Kuroo groaned as he slowly woke up. Without needing to see the weak light attempting to filter through the blinds on the window, he knew it was far too early for him to be awake. Especially on these rare few days off. Rolling over in bed, he fumbled around for his phone on the night stand and groaned even louder as the bright back-light blinded him.

     8:47 am.

     The numbers stared back at him mockingly until the seven changed into an eight. For the third time that morning, Kuroo groaned and buried his face in between his two pillows. Despite how exhausted he felt, there was no way his body was going to let him fall back asleep. He was already wired as it was, so he pushed back the covers and got out of bed. You weren’t lying next to him when he checked and, figuring you were most likely in the bathroom, he made his way towards it.

     When he found it empty, Kuroo frowned and made his way to the kitchen. You had this annoying habit of never cuddling in bed with him on the days he could cuddle and instead did other things you deemed more important. So what if the baby was crying? He could fall back asleep on his own. The laundry could be done later in the day. Homework could also be done later in the day. But no, you were always up and gone, even at this godawful hour.

     Kuroo was about to say something when he found himself frozen and frowning at the sight before him. There you were in the kitchen with Bokuto. Leaned up against him, you had your arms around his waist while looking up at him with a look of pure rapture on your face. Bokuto too had his arm around your shoulders while stirring the left-over miso soup with the other hand. It was so intimate and romantic, Kuroo almost turned around and went back to bed, if only not to interrupt.

     Which was stupid and ridiculous.

     He was your husband here. Not Bokuto. There was no reason for you to be looking at him like that. No reason for you to be giggling quietly into his chest and no reason for Bokuto to press a kiss to the top of your head. Especially not when _he_ was the one who was supposed to doing and receiving those things.

     Making a show of being loud and conspicuous, Kuroo shuffled his way into the kitchen and plopped himself down on the chair. Bokuto didn’t quite look at Kuroo, but the expression on Kuroo’s face was enough to make Bokuto snort when both of you turned around.

     “Morning, sleeping beauty. Why are you awake?”

     “Couldn’t sleep.” Kuroo really couldn’t help the snarky tone in his voice as he responded, though he knew, rationally of course, that he was being silly. “Why are _you_ awake? And in my house?”

     Bokuto shrugged and returned to stirring the miso soup in the pot. “Dunno. Woke up. Couldn’t sleep and decided to go for a run.”

     “Mmm.” Kuroo rubbed his face and groaned. He felt like he was dead, but the gods were keeping him half alive to torture him.

     “You look like shit, though.” 

     “See? This is why we’re friends. Always giving out amazing compliments, Kou-kun.”

     You started to speak, hoping to cut off their bickering before they really got into it when you were interrupted by the sound of little feet on the wooden floor. The three of you turned towards the sound of it and found yourselves starting at a freshly woken up pudding head. Dressed in his favorite oversized hoodie that dragged on the floor as he walked, Kenma rubbed furiously at his eyes. Blond hair was mussed, sticking up every which way and his cheeks were creased from the pillowcase, which only served to make his sleep swollen face even more obvious.

     With furrowed brows and shuddery gasps, Kenma searched each face until he found the person he was looking for. “Daddy.” The corners of Kenma’s mouth turned down, bottom lip trembling in a percursor to tears as he rubbed at his eyes. “Why are you so loud?”

     “We didn’t realize we were. I’m sorry.”

     Kenma said nothing as he rubbed at his face again, all while whiny groan. When he was finished, he raised his arms upwards and simply waited for Kuroo to pick him up. The latter did just that, tucking the little boy into his hoodie and rocking him gently.

     “Does no one sleep in this house? Jeez.” You reached out to smooth back Kenma’s hair before kissing the top of his forehead. He whined when you did and Kuroo smirked at you. Kenma had always had a slight preference for his father over you and Kuroo never let you live it down. You flicked Kuroo’s nose and rolled your eyes.

     A ding came from the rice cooker on the counter. With your attention back to it, Bokuto began scooping reheated rice into various wooden and ceramic bowls on the table. Bowls of miso soup followed, their green onions and cubed pieces of tofu bobbing slightly in steaming liquid, with smaller bowls filled with pickled vegetables. Finally, to complete the meal, there was the broiled fish Bokuto quickly flaked on it’s platter.

     By the time you had set out cups of milk on the table, both Bokuto and Kuroo had mumbled out a quick _Itadakimasu_ and were busy scarfing down the food. You didn’t hear much other than the constant clink of chopsticks on ceramic bowls or slurping as both Kuroo and Bokuto ate. Nothing was said between them save for a few grunts as they attempted to eat from the same plate, which you found amusing. Honestly you were meant to be eating your own portion of breakfast, but you were too focused on how the two of them could eat so perfectly in synch.

     Every so often, Kuroo would pick up the broiled fish or vegetables with his chopsticks and bring it to Kenma’s mouth. Kenma would open his mouth and take it, chewing slowly before accepting something else from Bokuto. Every few bites, he took a long slurp of the miso soup in Kuroo’s bowl and a quick drink of the milk you had set out. Eventually though, Kenma crossed his arms in front of him and laid his head on his arms.

     “Daddy.”

     “Yes?”

     “I’m tired.”

     Kuroo took a sip of his milk. “Go to bed.”

     “But…” Kenma rubbed his forehead against his arms and let out a soft whine. “I wanna sleep with you and Uncle Kou.”

     “Who says I wanna do that?” Bokuto’s nose scrunched into an expression that he said he _really_ did not want to do that.

     Kenma, on the other hand, looked stricken. Flicking his bangs out of his face, he looked to you with wide eyes and a down-turned, trembling lips. “…Mama…”

     You knew what was coming. Sleepy Kenma was never good at being told no. He did not deal well with rejection, especially not when his requests were reasonable. He just wanted to go back to bed, to sleep and cuddle someone he liked and they were telling him no. How could they do that? Shuddery breaths slowly escaped trembling lips and chin, just as his eyes began filling with tears. You knew exactly what was going to happen next and you definitely wanted to save your ears the pain. 

     “Or, you’re all going to go to sleep! How’s that?” You pushed back your chair and clapped your gently. 

     “Not if he kicks me in his sleep!”

     Bokuto scoffed. “Whatever. You’re the one who kicks!”

     “Ya know…” You got up out of your seat to pull Kenma out of Kuroo’s arms and onto your hip. With the little boy secure, you used your free hand to yank both husband and friend out of their own chairs and gently, _kindly_ , shoved them in the direction of your bedroom. “The two of you have been best friends since middle school. You’ve gone through so many harships together. I would have thought you guys had worked through this.”

     The two them protested as you continued to push them into the bedroom. Bokuto had barely managed a yelp, a mumbled demand that he wasn’t going to subjected to this kind of inhumane treatment before both he and Kuroo were pushed into bed. Kenma snorted at the two of them, but was more than willing to help them get under the covers and, when you took both pillows and began to whack husband and friend into silence, chortled in glee.

     “Weren’t you the one complaining about needing to sleep?”

     “I don’t want to sleep with Kou! I wanna sleep with you, (Name)!”

     Satisfied that the three of them were safely tucked into bed and very much like the protesting four year olds still sleeping in their bedroom, you blew them a kiss and closed the door.

     There was a reason you often woke up so early and didn’t cuddle Kuroo or anyone in bed in the mornings. Who wanted to deal with whiny babies running on lack of sleep? After all, silence was golden.  


	19. Melting

  
        Kuroo was melting.

      His skin was literally melting off and becoming a thick, gelatinous mass sticking to the floor, no longer bound to his bones. It was only a matter of time before he, the floor and the couch he was leaning against became one. The more the air oscillated in the heat, the more it was all but inevitable. He was going to become a blob on the floor. 

      He felt bad, of course. This wasn’t the sight he wanted (Name) to come upon when she came home. Her beautiful, strong, sexy husband melted and fused to couch and floor would probably a sight she would faint from. 

      And the boys? Those poor, children.

      Each one was also on the floor, in various states of melted too. Stripped down to their underwear, their skin was stuck to the hardwood. Their bodies came away like Velcro as they peeled themselves off the floor in an attempt to find a more comfortable position. You know, if dying could be comfortable. They were flushed, clammy with sweat that didn’t quite dissipate like it was meant to and their hair was half matted in a sweaty mess.

      Such was the sight (Name) would come upon.

      Every window had been thrown open, but without a breeze, it was pretty much useless. The fans they had were on full blast, with trays filled with water and ice cubes under them to help with the heat. But there wasn’t enough cold air circulating in the apartment’s living room to help them recover. Not to mention they had already eaten the three tubs of ice cream Kuroo had bought last week and when it hadn’t been enough, they had even eaten the entire bag of ice pops. 

      None of it had helped.

      “Daaadyyyy…”

      Kuroo didn’t have the strength to turn his head towards the pitiful voice of the orange haired boy calling for him. The best he could do was utter a grunt in response.

      “I’m hooot…”

      Kuroo felt bad. His children were miserable and despite himself, there had been nothing he could do to fix this situation. “We all are buddy. Sorry. ”

      “Do we really have no more ice cream?”

      “We ate it all, remember?”

      Someone, Tobio Kuroo thought, let out a shuddery sob. The apartment felt like an inferno and Kuroo didn’t know what else he could do. He was about to reassure the boys that they would be okay somehow, when they heard the sound of a key sliding into the lock. They all turned towards the door, looking for all the world like parched men hearing a raindrop hitting the earth. Was it their imagination? Was it their salvation? The door couldn’t open fast enough.

      You exhaled as deeply as you could. There really wasn’t any hint of a breeze today and you had pretty much sweated through your clothes on the walk home. You tossed your keys into the bowl by the door while being careful with the grocery bags in hand. With the way things were going, it was only a matter of time before everything sold out in the stores. So you had decided to stop and buy some fruit, ice cream and ice pops before they did.

      You were about to mention that to Kuroo and the boys, knowing he was home with them, but found yourself frozen in place.

      Your little family was dead on the living room floor. Save for the hiked-up boxer shorts they wore, they were all but naked. Each one of them was red, sweaty and boneless where they lay against the floor and couch. If it weren’t for the slight rise and fall of their chests, you were sure you had walked into some kind of terrible accident. They didn’t even greet you like they normally did when you came home. They just…breathed in the same star fished position you found them in.

      You gaped at the sight.

      You blinked.

      You tried to force out words, but only managed to make choking, guttural sounds. Then the spell seemed to break.

      “What the hell, Tetsurou!”

      Shoving your groceries in the appropriate places to deal with later, you rushed into the living room to scoop up your children. You had managed to get Kenma and Tobio into your arms before you were pushing the bathroom door open and walking in. Both boys were stripped of their underwear and promptly dropped into the tub. The water sputtered out of the tap was deliciously cold as it filled the bathtub, but you adjusted the temperature a bit to a cooler lukewarm. When it was high enough, you returned to the living room and scooped your other children.

      Lev’s body came away from the hardwood floors like some high-quality sticker coming off its backing in slow motion until he was free from its grip. You could see the humid spot on the floor where he had lain like some sort of morbid chalk outline. Shouyou didn't even react when you draped him over your shoulder. He was too dead to react. Once stripped, they were both deposited beside their brothers into the bathtub to cool off. Kenma immediately sank below the waterline to his nose and clung to Tobio. Shouyou simply looked like he had ascended to a new plain of existence. It was funny how quickly they livened up from the limp noodles they were on the floor to the grateful, cheering preschoolers. It was even better as they lounged in the tub with their ice pops to help them cool off even faster.

      As to your husband? How does one drag 166 pounds of dead weight to the bathroom? Because the moment Kuroo realized what you were doing, he purposely made sure you had the hardest time possible. Dead from the heat or not, there was no way he was going to make your life easier. Well, at least until the floor gave him a friction burn.

      You snickered at the memory. Kuroo had jumped up so quickly and complained. He had even looked to you for sympathy. Like it wasn’t his fault for being difficult. Even now he was sulking under the stream of cold water you were dousing him with, clinging to your waist. It always amazed you how different his personality could be in any situation. You had seen him be everything from the bad boy breaking everyone’s hearts wherever he went to the studious and nerdy schoolboy, but your favorite was probably this version of him.

      You would never admit it voluntarily, but there was something about the clingy and desperate-for-your-affection Kuroo that melted your heart. And if he was talking you up to the boys while caring for them? Goodbye, soul, it was too much for you.

      “So…you wanna tell me what happened? I had a heart attack walking in on your little crime scene.”

      “It was hot.” Kuroo threw back his head and let you run the showerhead over his face. His face wasn’t as red as before, though he was still slumped against the wall on the stool. “I thought I was going to die.”

      You snorted. Pushing back his hair, you let yourself run your fingers through it before asking with a smirk, “Didn’t you check the weather forecast?”

      Kuroo gasped. Slapping a hand to his mouth, he said, “No! Why didn’t I think of that when I woke up this morning!”

      You bit down on the inside of your cheek. You shouldn’t have married him. This handsome idiot in front of you was just so useless and dumb that you should have just kept telling him no in high school. He clearly didn't deserve you. Setting the shower head back onto it's hook, you cupped Kuroo’s face. You gave him your best pitiful smile while saying, “Yeah, well. Thank god you are pretty, Kuroo Tetsurou. I don’t know how else you’ll survive the world without your looks.”

      Lev choked back his laughter. He might not have understood the whole context of the joke, but after enough time with his uncles, he knew enough that it was meant to be insulting. When hazel eyes turned to glare a hole into him, the silver haired boy sank down into the water to escape his father’s gaze. It did nothing to stop the bubbles from his giggles though. Nor did it stop the other boys from laughing out loud.

      “Do you know how easy it is to find someone else?” You had never heard a more disgusted scoff in your life. You might have been the mature one in the relationship, but Kuroo knew you weren’t above being petty and mean. Especially at anything he did. Why he ever wanted to be with you, he had no idea. Well two could play at that game. “There’s that cute kouhai who’s desperate for me to take her out, ya know.”

      “He’s lying, Mama!" Shouyou leaned over the edge of the tub and pulled on your shirt. "He told her he was married to you and liked you too much to go out with her! He even said you were prettier.” 

      Kuroo's face went from smug derision to complete shock. You could see the emotion playing out on his face as his brain slowly processed Shouyou's words. Then he was up and reaching out for the orange haired ball of energy. Water sloshed around in the tub as Shouyou pushed himself back against the tub. He tried scrambling away, but the tub was small and his brothers were pushing him back towards Kuroo. Being as wet as the boys were, it was hard to catch the little boy, even if they were in a small space.

      “(Name), hold him for me so I can punish this little jerk.”

      “Daddy, no!”

      Water was splashing everywhere. Shouyou was shrieking for you to do something for his brothers to stop betraying him and for Kuroo to please, _please_ let him go because he was really sorry, all in between terrified laughter, and Kuroo was tickling the little boy to death for his treachery.

      Then, just like that it was over. Shouyou hung over the edge of the tub panting and out of breath, though that didn’t stop him from taking the occasional slurp of the ice pop. Kenma was submersed up to his in the water while Tobio and Lev used their toys to squirt Kuroo with water. And you? You were thoroughly soaked through. The bathroom floor had a two-inch pool of water and, just outside the door, you could hear the curious meows of your cats from all the commotion.

      Still though. You weren't really angry. These were moments meant to be treasured because God knows once the boys were older, there was no way they were going to be this cute and affection with either of you. Better to take advantage of it now while you could.

      So you bent down and kissed Kuroo full on the mouth. He and the boys really were cute sometimes. Not to mention their surprise when you kissed them all in succession was hilarious.

      “Mama?”

      You looked over to Tobio as he reached out to you. His brows were furrowed and his lips were in a tight line as if deep thought. Whatever it was he wanted to tell you must have been important. “Yes, my little blueberry?”

      “Please don’t ever kiss Daddy in front of us again." His nose scrunched up in disgust. "It’s yucky.”  



	20. Timor

        Kuroo let out a deep, soul wrenching sigh as he dumped the basket of clothes onto the bed. 

      As an only child growing up, one of his biggest wishes was to have brothers or sisters to play with. A lonely childhood had given him the deepest desire for siblings that not even the horror stories his classmates told him could dissuade. He had spent years hounding his parents for a sibling, to the point of throwing temper tantrums whenever the subject was dismissed, but it had all been in vain. When his mother had sat him down and explained the why she couldn’t give him a sibling, Kuroo had decided that having a mother was more important than a baby brother or sister.

      So when he grew old enough, Kuroo swore he was going to have a big family himself.

      Now? He was really regretting that decision. 

      Just how many pairs of socks did these kids need? He was glad (Name) had the decency to buy the same brand and style of socks, all thankfully black. But, good god, they had so many to match up. It was ridiculous.

      No wonder (Name) hated doing the laundry. She had to spent three years _at the very least_ manually matching the socks and sorting them into the various drawers. Thank god he had started with the other pieces of clothing because if it was the socks first, Kuroo would have lost his patience a while ago.

      Kuroo was so deep in thought while sorting the socks, that he didn’t hear the door creak open until he spotted Tobio coming in. He was drinking a carton of milk, his usual drink of choice, and making his way towards Kuroo and the laundry. Once he was close enough, Kuroo watched Tobio set the carton on the night stand, and with a deep sigh, grip the duvet.

      Kuroo imagined this was what the big bad wolf looked like as he blew down the three little pigs houses. Huffing and puffing as he struggled to pull himself up onto the bed, any attempts at helping Tobio were met with a snappy, "I can do it myself!" as the dark haired boy grunted his way through a fourth attempt. Finally Tobio made it, flushed and almost sweaty on the bed, drinking the remains of his milk as if he had just come from a year long trek from the Sahara desert. 

      Kuroo said nothing as he pressed his lips together in an effort not to laugh. 

      It took Tobio a few minutes to calm himself from his struggles before he cleared his throat. "What are you doing, Daddy?"

      Kuroo tried not to respond with a snarky tone. Like, just _what_ did it look like he was doing? Spinning gold from straw? Instead he forced out a simple, "I'm matching your mountain of socks because your mother hates to do it."

      "We have a lot of socks, don't we, Daddy?"

      Another slurp of his milk. Kuroo sucked on his teeth and let out a _tsk_. "Yep. Yes, you do."

      Silence filled the room. Kuroo continued to match the socks together before tossing them into the basket again to be sorted later. Tobio watched him for a while until he finished his milk and decided to help. The sorting went by faster and Kuroo enjoyed the silly giggling Tobio made every time he “missed” the basket and hit Tobio’s chest instead. With how hectic this last year was, there hadn’t been much time to bond with the boys like the year before and this one-on-one time was something Kuroo really missed.

      So when Tobio said those dreaded words, he wasn’t expecting the aftermath that followed.

      “Daddy, can I ask you a question?” Tobio looked up from the socks he was counting into individual piles and gave Kuroo a wide eyed look.

      “Yeah?”

      “Do you love mommy?”

      Where did this come from? For the life of him, Kuroo couldn’t figure out where the thought had formed from their sorting. “Of course I do. I mean, sometimes she’s annoying, but most of the time I love her.”

      Tobio nodded like it was sage words he was hearing. “Do you love Kenma and Lev?”

      Now he had some inkling of where this was going. He didn’t want to, but Kuroo decided it was better to see just want Tobio was trying to get to before making any rash judgements. “Yep, them too. Sometimes they’re worse than Mama, though.”

      “But me and Shouyou are different, right? Because we didn’t come out of Mama’s tummy?”

      Ahh, there it was. Kuroo had been dreading this moment from the minute the adoption process had been final. After the year and some months of no questions and acceptance, he was sure they had managed to bypass the whole situation, but it seemed not. “What makes you think that?”

      Kuroo hoped he sounded normal as he spoke instead of full of turmoil like he feeling inside. It wouldn't be good to freak out and make Tonio feel like he couldn't talk to his parents about things.

      “Well,” Tobio toyed with a pair of socks and shrugged. “We didn’t come out of Mama’s tummy.”

      “Yeah, well, I love your uncles too, but they didn’t come out of Mama’s tummy either.”

      Tobio shrugged again. He was shifty and stiff, exactly like a little kid trying to avoid the issue at hand. Kuroo wanted to scoop him up and hug him until he stopped breathing. This wasn’t something he wanted to talk about because it really didn’t matter to him. Who cares where they came from? They were his now. But Kuroo knew it was better to talk about it now than avoiding it.

      “I remember my first mama a little bit. We were in a car, I think and she was laughing at me from the front seat. I don’t remember what my first daddy said, but it was mean.” Tobio’s brows furrowed as he thought. The frown on his face deepened a little and the sock in his hand was twisted slowly. “My first mama was going to say something back, but then everything went black. I don’t remember what happened but I was scared the whole time.”

      Could Tobio see how stricken he was feeling? He remembered the look on the social worker’s face as she told them about Tobio’s biological parents’ car accident. How the drunk driver hadn’t even bothered to look as he turned and crashed into them. How the whole right side of the car had been crushed and and the car flipped. Kuroo hadn’t wanted to hear more, but it was definitely the reason for why Tobio had such an aversion to blood.

      His biological father had survived, but couldn’t stand looking at the son who looked so much like his dead wife. From the the way the social worker spoke it was clear his biological father felt no regrets about about his decision.  So Tobio was given up, just like that. Was that it then? Was Tobio afraid they were going to get sick of him and give him up like the other families?

      Kuroo set the basket aside and pulled Tobio into his arms. “You know, sometimes you’re _really_ annoying. You drink _so_ much milk. Why? It’s not normal.” He squeezed Tobio hard in his arms and rocked back and forth until the little boy protested that he had enough. Kuroo gave him a lopsided grin then kissed the top of his head. “But you know I’m not going to give you away. Ever. I don’t know why, but I really like you and Shouyou.”

      Tobio looked away and nodded in a way Kuroo couldn’t tell if it was embarrassment or he just didn’t understand. His grip didn’t loosen from Kuroo’s waist though. After a long, torturous minute of silence Tobio asked in a tiny voice, “Promise?”

      “Yes, I promise.” Kuroo made sure to give the little boy a smile he hoped was reassuring.

      Tobio nodded again, this time with a half smile. Reaching out, he grabbed Kuroo’s face and kissed him. “I’m going to go play now if you don’t mind, Daddy. Matching socks is more boring than I thought.”

      He scooted off the bed on his belly until his little feet touched the ground and was gone before Kuroo could even protest. Not that it would have mattered. He felt like he was drained emotionally all of a sudden. Tobio’s panic and the whole conversation had come and gone in probably a few minutes, but to Kuroo it felt like hours. He was so lost in thought he didn’t hear you come in until he felt you nudge his knees apart and put your arms on his shoulders.

      He instantly wrapped his arms around your waist. “I take it you heard?”

      “Mm, hmm.”

      “And?”

      You couldn’t help the sappy, lovey-dovey smile on your face as you brushed back Kuroo’s hair. “And I think you’re just so adorable sometimes.”

      Kuroo’s snort melted into sarcastic laughter. He pressed his face against your stomach and squeezed you harder to him. “Tell me again why we have so many kids?”

      “I’m not quite sure. I didn’t even want the first one.”

      “Parenting is so hard, (Name). I didn’t think this through.”

      “Yeah, well. You’ve made your bed and now you gotta finish the socks and make us lunch. It’s your turn.”

      "Kiss me first. I need it." You chuckled softly before complying, smoothing back Kuroo's hair when you pulled away.

      "You know, you might so annoying most times, but I'm really glad I married you Kuroo Tetsurou."


	21. Requiescat

        “Tooru, this is so expensive!” 

      You stared at the palm sized circular jar in your hands in disbelief. You couldn’t believe your stupid friend had even gotten this for you, much less everything else on the table, and expected you not to react as you were.

      “Hush, (Name). You know beauty comes at great price.”

      Oikawa sounded so smug and superior as he took the jar from your hand and smeared the cream onto your face. The boys were standing a bit away from you, full of soft giggles as they worked a different jar of expensive hair mask into Bokuto’s hair. You were amazed how spikey the boys could get it to be, since it was already a mess before. But Bokuto didn’t seem to mind and was even encouraging the boys to be bolder and more creative.

      Your own hair had been properly covered in the very same mask and coiled inside a shower cap to work itself into the strands. The boys had enjoyed wrangling the mess into the cap while Oikawa had directed them. Now, you let him work on you without much complaint. There was nothing you could do to fight him and Bokuto even if you did. With the boys on their side for the “much needed spa day” they were throwing you, you were the lone man fighting a losing war. So where you were all sitting on the floor, waiting for the masks to work their magic.

      “You smell really good, Mama.”

      You had to fight back the snort that wanted to escape. On their own, each cream and mask smelled wonderful. But with the mix you were currently sporting, you weren’t so sure. Fruity and floral scents vied with the scents of essentials oils and smelled a bit nauseating, if you were honest. But Tobio and Lev were busy karate chopping Bokuto into jelly and Kenma was already half asleep in Oikawa’s arms as he rocked him.

      “Thank you, Shou. But you smell so much better!”  

      It didn’t matter that neither Shouyou nor Tobio weren’t your biological children. Without prompting or learning, you had learned that they had the same ticks and reactions as your husband, all on their own. So much like Kuroo when complimented, Shouyou’s little face burst into a mess of red and the little boy stuttered through denials that he _did not_ smell better and you _did not know what you were talking about_ , you were reminded that he was just like his father. It was too cute for words.

      Of course, throughout this whole manhandling affair, Oikawa had neglected to explain much to the boys when he had appeared on their doorstep with a bag full of things. But when his phone began buzzing loudly and flashing brightly on the table, the boys were about to figure out that it was time to wash off all the creams smeared on their bodies. 

      Now, if there was one thing you knew about small children, it was that normally they didn’t like baths. There was something about the whole getting clean thing, small children just didn't seem to get. But yours, as you had come to learn over these last five years, were special. 

      First they had to be stripped out of their clothes. Clothes they were comfortable and warm in and once taken off, would allow their body heat to dissipate. That led to a mad dash to catch three naked children, each one of them shrieking and giggling as they dodged around arms and legs trying to catch them. Catching one always led to the release of the previously captured child. And if you finally did managed to wrangle them all together, the fight to get them into the shower in the designated order was exhausting at times. You had to scrub them down with actual soap and water instead of the imaginary stuff they liked to say they washed with. Then, finally, you could get them into the tub.

      That’s when they enjoyed the bath. The water was warm, it smelled nice and they had their favorite toys to play with. That’s when they were calm and pliant. Even getting them out was easy and painless.

      Of course, this all went out the window as soon as one of the big boys decided they were going to spend the night. Then all hell seemed to erupt. You had barely pushed yourself up off of the floor when you were hit with the sight of Bokuto stripping himself naked in a mad rush to beat Lev and Tobio. Shouyou had beaten them first into the bathroom, every individual article of clothing marking his way, and you just _knew_ water was going to get everywhere. Goodbye clean bathroom and hello mold.

      “I thought I was supposed to be relaxing?” You said, over the distinct sound of the showerhead spraying water against the frosted glass door of the bathroom and the shrieks that came from inside. Bokuto was either trying to hose all three boys down or they were having some sort of water fight. You sucked air in through your teeth. “I’m not relaxing, Tooru-kun!”

      The chocolate haired setter turned to you with a brief look you were sure was meant to be cool and calm, even if his face wasn’t covered in pale green cream. Kenma gave you the same look, both of them still focused on their game on Oikawa’s phone, though at least were paying you a bit of attention.

      “Calm down, (Name)-chan. We’re gonna shower in a bit and then they’ll clean. Tetsu and Iwa-chan are gonna be here in a few and then you can eat. You're always grumpy when you don't eat. You like (favorite food) right?”

      Was it worth slapping the grin off his face? You didn’t want to get up, to be honest. You were comfortable where you were and you still had a good half an hour of your episode to finish. Maybe Bokuto and Oikawa could take of the boys by themselves. At least they were occupied. 

      As were you. So much so that you didn’t even notice Bokuto was crouched next to you until he slipped his arms under your knees and armpits and scooped you into his arms, bridal style. You yelped in surprise. You shrieked. Your phone was going to fall. Your headphones were going to snap. What was he doing?

      “Kou, put me down! I’m going to fall!”

      Just where was he taking you? You were wailing like you were being led away to be murdered.

      “You will if you don’t stop squirming!” Bokuto nudged the door to the bathroom open and beamed at you. “Besides, we’re here already.”

      You couldn’t believe it. The bathroom wasn’t sopping wet with water. The bottles of shampoo and body wash were neatly arranged in their shelves and the towels were hung properly in their places. Nothing was like you were expecting from all the commotion. But that wasn’t what had you gaping. Somehow, without you noticing, both Bokuto and Oikawa had managed to fill the bathroom with scented candles. Their soft, flickering glow lit up the bathroom with just enough light to see and their scent filled the small space. The main scent in the room was vanilla, but you could smell hints of lavender and rose.

      The bath water was at exactly the temperature you liked and had floating flower petals on the surface. From the foamy edges, you were certain they had dropped some sort of bath bomb in the water before bringing you here. There were probably some sort of essential oils inside too.

      “Do you like it, Mama?” Lev asked, appearing around Bokuto’s legs. He rushed towards you with eyes full of glee at having tricked you and you scooped him up into your arms.

      “Whose idea was this?”

      Lev practically beamed with delight. “Mine! I thought of it all by myself!”

      “You did?” You pursed your lips as if in thought. “Well, I’m very surprised, you know. You really got me.”

      “Really?” Lev snickered. He kissed your lips, snickering once again when your face mask got on his own face. “Shouyou and I cleaned the bathroom with Uncle Kou. And Uncle Tooru helped Kenma with the candles. And then Tobio thought of the flowers in the bathtub. Tobio’s really smart, Mama!”

      He wriggled out of your arms and onto the floor. With his hand in Bokuto’s, both boys left the bathroom with clear instructions to relax and not come out until Daddy had returned with dinner. Lev even gave you his best scary glare to make sure you followed through with their instructions.

      You showered. The face and hair mask had left you feeling silky and smooth, like never before. No matter what you touched, you felt so soft. Whatever tension you had in your muscles was washed away by the hot water and scented oils in the tub. The bath bomb worked its way into your skin and when you finally got out, you were a plump, soft noodle. Exactly what everyone wanted.

      Now warm and full of your favorite food and drink, you were climbing into bed and trying to ignore your husband grinning at you with his head propped on his hand.

      “Did I raise good kids or what?”

      Kuroo gave you the same look as Mimi, your calico cat, was giving you. Mimi's paws kneaded into your chest as she purred between you and Kuroo, occasionally leaning up to headbutt one of you. You ignored the bedroom eyes hinting at something else and closed your eyes. The couch had been cleared in the living room and replaced with futons and blankets for everyone. The boys had enjoyed watching Iwaizumi and Bokuto lift the heavy furniture across the room. There had been much feeling of muscles and exclamations that they were _so strong!!_ you had found yourself tittering like some idiot. It _had_ been to see both of them flexing though. 

      “You did like, one sixth of the raising. Kuroo Tetsurou.”

      “And you loved it.” You felt him wrap an arm around your waist and pull you closer. His breath tickled your ear as he whispered, “Admit it.”

      You were going to respond with something snarky, but the door suddenly flew open and a grumpy looking Iwaizumi appeared in the door way. He grumbled under his breath, mumbling a few choice curse words before he tossed the pillow under his arm onto the bed.

      “Scoot over. Oikawa and Lev are hogging my futon.”

      “The bed’s not big enough, Iwa-chan—”

      “The bed is huge, Tetsurou. Now move over and let me sleep!”

      You had never seen Kuroo pout so hard before. As he scooted both you and him over to the other side of the bed, Iwaizumi lifted the covers and slipped in. No one said a word as he flicked off the lamp and darkness bathed the room. The two of them settled into the mattress, the only sound Mimi’s soft purring. After a few minutes, you had thought them were both asleep when suddenly, Kuroo spoke.

      “Iwa-chan, if you’re going to sleep here, at least cuddle me.”

      There was a pause after Kuroo’s words where you thought Iwaizumi was going to punch him. But then you heard Iwaizumi let out a deep sigh.

      “Fine. Snuggle closer then.”

      You turned your back to both of them and cuddled your cat with a roll of your eyes. What had you gotten yourself into?


End file.
